Upon My First Rereading

I've written things that were good, and I've written things that were bad. I've written things that I first thought were good, but upon my first rereading were already starting to lose their luster. I'll give it a while, and then come back and check on it, because a little time can give a better perspective. On that second time back through it, the balloon is showing signs of severe deflation, and I press my lips together in irritation, like evidence of bad behavior is starting to show. Often, there is a good reason for a trend to exist, and sure enough, the following time I'm questioning myself about why I even wrote the stupid thing, and I crumple it up into a ball and throw it in the trash can, but not before I take the little balled-up paper and crush it between the desk and my balled-up fist a few times, just because. I had to do it, though, I had to write it. I think back through my life about many things I've done. Did I really have a choice?