Unwanted Love

Why is being touched so hard for me It should be soft and lovely like being free But for me it’s none of these things When it feels as if a thousand wasps sting I am scared with feelings of things gone by Pain and sorrow of wickedness I don’t know why I long to be touched with feelings of deep love That seam false, not Gods promise from above I get mixed messages of what I feel they can’t be real My tears of loss with a lack of understanding I am not soaring way up high, I’m just crash landing being touched with lust and compassion I can’t see It’s sometimes fear and torture attacking me I just want to feel the value in my heart Not the suffering other stuff that tears me apart When you have been abused right from the start I’m not able to work it out on a doctor’s bar-chart Why am I not able to reach the very top Feel fulfilled with love and a cherry on top Just the awful feeling of past happenings The scared ways of life’s hardening I just want to embrace all that lost love Stop attacking, let me take of my boxing gloves