Unrequited Not Quite

Why do we choose who we do? Why don't we let them see who we really are, before we say I do? Why do we stand idly by hurt piercing our souls and running from our eyes. I'm trying to remember the Hurt, despair, the desolation and un-care as we parted. But I'm having trouble, I've always been soft hearted. You have a soft spot in my heart and mind The past I would like to rewind. But I can't. I made my choice so long ago. We vowed our hearts to live and love and forsake all the rest and so; You aren't mine to love and cherish anymore, I'm not even supposed to be knocking on that door. I should bid you farewell and let you be, but in my heart you continue to dwell and I can't tell you what you mean to me. I carry my secret torch aflame for a youthful love, that cannot be and will never be the same. You sleep beside another, living and loving in disharmony, as do I. Why did you choose her? Tell me why... She cannot love you, but neither can I Your secret torch I will carry until I die. I don't want to see you hurt, but it's not my place. First loves die hard, your memory I retrace. I think I'm still in love with a memory of the fresh-faced boy you used to be. I don't know this brooding man, hardships and troubles; fall from grace, he is a stranger to me. I am awash with what might have been and what can never be thinking of the what ifs and may possibly.