Unhappy

How have I become this person, this person I now hate so much? The person who once had many good qualities, now all I have is disgust! It's not as if i'm hard done by, infact life's handed to me on a plate, still I wallow about in self pity, confusion and debate. When I think about what I have, I shouldn't need to want for more, great family and friends I can rely on and that i'm 100% sure. A man who loves me dearly, he devotes his life to me, a charming and loving son, all a mother could want her child to be. Then I think of those in poverty with not even a crumb to spare, no one to love and protect them, no one there to even care. I then begin to despise myself, how ungrateful must I be? I have so much a lot would yearn for, yet I still feel so unhappy! Most of the things I am down about, I have actually brought on myself, so it's time I understood this and appreciate the life I've been dealt. I've been toying with so many emotions treating life like it's a game, yet I still continue to do things, that put me to so much shame. So how can I expect to be respected? When I don't even respect myself? My hope is to now read back through this and the answers should speak for themselves.