Undeveloped Film.

what have you seen w/ those sweetness eyes? at the bus stops, in the malls, breathing the cold dead air of february, the crackered soup of weirdo. childhood beds, the smell of christmas, possible selves, assumptions. avatars, siblings, unrealized realities— private places where you dry up and float away. what have you seen? innocence, not ignorance. eyes up— under a falling sky. i’ve been up all night w/ memories; skin to skin, palm to palm, the googeley eyes of closeness and myopic not seeing. pieces that fit alright— for the price we pay they should. it's ideas we love, not people. sex is an idea. pride, a bad one. do you believe that kindness is possible? remembering you, or the idea of you. and your sweetness. and me--when i wanted only to be handsome, dumb and happy. 14 teeth when you smile. a slight halitosis; your scent? sexy in my mouth. i burnt my tongue on your teeth more than once. how many sad coffees followed? now visions, apparitions. indulgences, at a cost— more than my eyes could afford. it's long that i've been wanting. something innate, divine. all the world's sufferings ordained? as all is possible all is necessary. the ones who people our lives are doomed to become abstractions, slaves of recall and nostalgia. impossible ideas—the more defined the more confining. freedom, change; should you challenge your definition-we resent none more than those who shatter our illusions. in your absence i will keep you; safe, sweet, abstract. in my skull you are forever flowers beyond perception, inevitable hair.