Nette Onclaud Poet Dramatic Verse

Notes About The Poem

Craig Cornish's Contest : The Picture On The Parlor Wall 30 Sept 24

Underground Grafitti

Numb…jammed like rows of canned sardines,
bodies  avoiding faces   labeled as print,
ticket stubs, and coats on a 7 pm bullet train
bound for home along dim lights on railways :
shadows gaze blankly from tight decks
cold     frozen  as still life  masking their alienation
through buried heaves under woolen scarves…

And how passengers’ skin  touching 
each other’s loneliness cringe
in the  tram ...their expressions hollering loud
through silent wails ,
words hammered like scribbles
from neon paint on cans,
abstract forms zigzaging
on broken halls...
graffiti  and urban doodles
imitate this isolation more
black than white ... surreal 
imprints speaking 
of holy and irreverent whims..
untold.

♡Like0

Share Poem

---

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Duke Beaufort October 20, 2024 at 7:58 AM Nette, you describe isolation in a remarkable way. It's rather incredible that we can be so close to each other, yet so disinterested and self absorbed. The entire nature of society has certainly become surreal. Smiles

Kim Rodrigues October 10, 2024 at 7:19 AM Interesting! Filled with great imagery. Congratulations, Nette!

Len Gasun October 9, 2024 at 11:48 PM Creatively and brilliantly painted picture my dearest poet friend Nette. A masterpiece too. Coming back to your page to sojourn in your poetic gallery and found this very precious gem. My Warmest Congratulations on your shining win! Thanks for sharing. God bless you always and your writings. Hugs

Suzette Richards October 8, 2024 at 8:57 PM Congratulations on your win with this atmospheric piece, Nette. You had me hooked from the word go ... . x Su

Karen Jones October 8, 2024 at 5:04 PM Congratulations on your win!

Rob Carmack October 7, 2024 at 3:28 AM Excellent as is the baseline that remains with you. Glad to see your back.

Ink Empress October 1, 2024 at 7:53 AM What a deep and creative take on the prompt this is dear nette! I love the wordplay and flow of this, especially “ from neon paint on cans, abstract forms zigzaging on broken halls... graffiti and urban doodles imitate this isolation more” wow! Just brilliant! I think will be a top win! Best wishes! Sending you light always dear nette.