David Kavanagh Poet Monorhyme

::::::Undercurrents of Life::::::

Oh come tide wash over me, this agnostic has no role 
      Take me under ice cold brine, feed electric eels my soul
     Eat away, charge these eyes, i’ll light up unknown shoals
    Shock me back upon life again, euthanised within charcoal 
   In time a diamond will form, when compression takes its toll 
  Precious I wait until I’m found, come creation make me whole 


BiteSize Poem no.57 Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Line Gauthier
Monorhyme checked rhymezone.com
12/18/22

♡Like0

Share Poem

---

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Panagiota Romios December 28, 2022 at 6:13 PM Big, big congratulations on a fantastically creative write, David. Breathtaking! ~ Panagiota ~ David Kavanagh December 29, 2022 at 12:26 AM Thank you so much Pangie, I really enjoyed working on this one, and was delighted with the placement, cheers David

Andrea Dietrich December 28, 2022 at 2:59 PM wow, it's electrifying! Congrats on your top win with this super-charged rhyme! David Kavanagh December 28, 2022 at 3:21 PM You sound like Olivia Newton John, Andrea, or is it John Travolta that sings that line lol, thanks so much for stopping by with a supercharged comment, cheers David

Unseeking Seeker December 27, 2022 at 5:19 AM Another level! Deep as in deeeeep. Enjoyed the write David, congratulations on your win David Kavanagh December 27, 2022 at 5:47 AM Heya Seeker, it’s a pretty deep one ok, trying to figure out how/where our consciousness goes, my current thinking is it’s eternal and indestructible because of the information paradox, thanks so much for stopping by, cheers David

Paula Goldsmith December 26, 2022 at 8:51 AM Congratulation on your wonderful win. Diamonds take time. Have a blessed day............ David Kavanagh December 26, 2022 at 11:22 AM Thank you Paula, was delighted with the placement, they sure do, but may be worth the wait, cheers David

I Am Anaya December 19, 2022 at 6:05 PM Electric eels good God, startling baptism by electricity imagery a requiem for an apostate. Outcome--final rites. Illuminating I got a charge ou t of it! BOL David Kavanagh December 19, 2022 at 8:44 PM Great comments Anaya, “requiem for an apostate” what a great line for a horror movie, I’m agnostic myself waiting with the electric eels on the bottom, open to all shocks and illumination, way to go! cheers David

Tom Cunningham December 18, 2022 at 10:54 AM Interesting one David, where are we from, where are we going. I often wonder how many transitions we go through in our existence. Tom. Good final, shame it went to penalties. David Kavanagh December 18, 2022 at 11:39 AM Thanks Tom, I honestly don’t know how many transitions consciousness goes through, but I believe it’s eternal and part of creation, however that happened, yes delighted the best team won, Argentina was written in the stars today, brilliant cheers David

Jenna Logan December 18, 2022 at 10:16 AM Argentina won’t be crying today! David Kavanagh December 18, 2022 at 11:35 AM Certainly not but I almost did, I’m delighted they won, their passion seen them through in the end, an incredible uplifting finale to a brilliant World Cup, cheers David

Deb M December 18, 2022 at 8:47 AM Wow David what an amazingly clever poem.l really enjoyed reading it….Debx David Kavanagh December 18, 2022 at 11:33 AM Heya Deb, I’ve been taking some time off for the World Cup soccer, I’d started so many poems and am trying to finish them, thank you so much for kind comments, cheers David

Sotto Poet December 18, 2022 at 7:26 AM David, you have written a wonderful Monorythme with deep meaning. To provide beauty and light to a man's soul, which is typically unattractive and filled with darkness. A superbly written work with a structure that is perfectly constructed by the size of your defined terms. Best wishes for this festive season. David Kavanagh December 18, 2022 at 11:29 AM Thank you so much Lasaad, yes trying to see past the darkness of my unanswered questions, but I do believe in consciousness being eternal, cheers David

Jenna Logan December 18, 2022 at 5:34 AM David, this is excellent writing in perfectly shaped form by the length of your chosen words. Your message? To transform a man’s dark soul into one beautiful and filled with light. Your method of charged transition is ingenious! Jenna Logan December 18, 2022 at 10:15 AM Your lines were cohesively interwoven like that eel swimming in dark depths before surfacing. David Kavanagh December 18, 2022 at 5:50 AM Thanks so much Jenna, I slept on this one last night and finished it this morning, just needed a few tweaks, you’re right it is spiritual, something inside won’t allow me to be apostate, probably the electric eels, wherever that line came from I don’t know, cheers David