Unconsciousness

Cast away in a different state of mind Forgotten in the eternal spinning of life Inhibitions dissipating like smoke While all emotions scurry and hide Poisoning myself over and over again Escalating to the point of nothingness Suddenly something creeps up from behind Flashes of resentment penetrate the fortress Meanings obscuring the loss of judgment Feeling the dread in the back of my throat Caught in a perilous trap of my own design The neurotic energy coursing through veins As the monster rears its sinister head to laugh I discreetly go away to puke in the bushes Forced to take a retrospective look back In the moment of clarity i'm grateful for relief Though shame slowly approaches my soul Is it all really worth it? I truly don't know