Unavoidable To Deny Praising Urination and Defecation

Yet upon another reflexive routine dash skipping to Waterloo, I got emboldened with idea praising basic vital functions aware requisite elimination of liquid and/or solid waste any obstruction disallowing body to expel toxins would prove fatal, thus gratitude toward regular unpicturized, unhindered, and unaided intervening measures undertaken to experience thee nonpareil pleasures actuated without purgative, yet should instance arise finding impossibility to exercise sphincter muscle (constipation worse fate than perdition) alleviating solid state brick like blockage spasm inducing agony within me bum, yours truly racks impound did severely inconvenienced physical self accessing natural remedy to soften stool temporarily incapacitating peaceful ease zee ex-lax feeling accompanying experience that approximates how pregnant mother inundated with contractions ready to give birth, whereat merciful joyous crying emanates courtesy this humble human, no matter he never tested his steely ironic mettle say completing wilderness survival course, but rarely speculates such grueling boot camp self inflicted challenges pale in comparison to loosing bowel movement big enough to sink battleship, and mighty exertion finally dumps payload, the toilet bowl hastens meteorologists to issue tsunami warnings insync with "Damn the torpedo" this ole windbag blasted clear across contiguous United States, where whizzing, sounding, jet setting like speeding bullet (self Mach re:) puzzled onlookers mistake me for some foreign entity lost in space analogous to detect a stylish alien (pants bunched around ankles - most definitely tell tale clue, asper rating him hip hopping longfellow), yea undoubtedly a messenger from outer limits of twilight zone sent to... wait...his trumpeting tush gaseous, an utter farts feigning "FAKE" comet tee.