Un-Me

The anxiety boils up inside my bowels and Presses up under my heart. Right before it breaks into the back of My throat and tears my speech apart. Can't get the words to come out but what flows Are tears and worry. Yellow belly emotions, cowardice, and quitting These thoughts won't leave my mind, it's blurry. How did I get this way and all jacked up What lesson did I miss out on? Under a shell of muscle and uniform Marine, you good? Can you perform? I can't explain it. I suppress it with reading and Many studies. Journaling and blogging and training. I'm always behind the eight ball though, it is draining I'm not complaining. I'm tired and fatigued and don't like the guy I see in the mirror Staring back at me with disgust, and he criticizes, him I don’t trust. My confidence was sapped years ago and it was All false and fabricated The new confidence comes with a price Pressure and heat to see if I’ll sacrifice Depending on myself or lean on ‘I AM’ He is always testing me to see if I’ll pass the Exam. Who am I going to be? Me or un-me?