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Tying Hard Not To Cry

Dear Lord
 i'm trying hard not to cry
but the tears are  starting to well up in my eyes
 13 years ago my dad had to go away
I was not alloud to go to say goodbye
I was not allwed to to go and grieve
for  23 hours earlier a new baby I did recive
if I could build  a stair way straight to heavens' door
i'd do it just so I could see my dad just once more
I am happy for my son
his 13th birthday
his big special day
but it does not make the pain go away
I am doing all I can to stay strong
and memories of dad in my heart live on
I will keep smiling and do all that I can do
for I know my dad will want a party  in heaven for James and my nephew Joseph too
I believe  he's in the most beautiful place  with you Amen.

MT 5:4 Blessed are those who mourn,
    for they will be comforted.

Copyright © Diane Christian | Year Posted 2009

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Dean Masciarelli Date: 9/7/2010 1:03:00 PM Diane I lost my father when I was thirty one and I lost my mother when I turned forty and even though they are gone there seeds will remain in me now to carry on in there name. I feel for you and I know from my own experiences how difficult it is and my heart felt feelings goes out to you today, Please feel free to visit me at my other site. God Bless you always Sincerely,Dean www.poetrypoem.com/poet3238 Login to Reply

Jesu Johnson Date: 3/17/2010 1:27:00 PM Diane, my heart goes out to you. I feel your pain. I know your Dad is with you every step. So keep your head up, that's the way he would want you to be!!!! BLESS YOU. - JESU' Login to Reply

June Ellen Smith Date: 2/28/2010 12:16:00 AM Maybe your dad and mine are partying now. I cried like a baby when my parents died. I was twenty-three and thirty-eight. I was 19 when my brother died and I was in shock and didn't shed a tear until years later and then it just flowed. I had to let it out. I cried when I lost my baby between my first and second, then I was blessed with a third. Ellen Login to Reply

Dean Masciarelli Date: 9/24/2009 9:57:00 PM Hi Diane I can feel every emotion and every feeling pouring through the page in this poem And I can relate to each and every one of them because I know what it is like to mourn,and no matter how many years and months go by there will always be an empty place inside of our hearts that will be missing them until that day comes when we can actually join our loved ones in Heaven Celebrate every birthday with your son because I am sure that your Dads spirit is still around.Thank you for sharing,Dean Login to Reply

Adele Bemberry Date: 9/23/2009 6:29:00 AM Hi Diane, your poem touched the inner core of my soul....I felt like it was my dad you were talking about...... your dad didnt leave you....his soul came back through your son...always remember that..... adele Login to Reply

Joseph Spence Sr Date: 9/6/2009 5:52:00 AM This is such an excellent connection between your son and your father. May the love of both combined to build a fortress of hope and love for you. Great job! ~Joseph Login to Reply

John Freeman Date: 9/3/2009 6:30:00 PM The essence of your father from heaven, can see the things that pertain unto him in earth! I believe he has read your poem, and knows exactly what you have said in your poem. Sincerely Moses Login to Reply

Sara Kendrick Date: 8/27/2009 5:23:00 AM Emotionally packed. When we don't get a chance to grieve it wells up in us and comes flowing out at the strangest times. I was in Dollar Tree and they had some Cashmere Bouquet soap and I caught the scent and started to cry for my mother who had died several years prior. Keep writing. Sara --You have mail. Login to Reply

Carol Sunshine Brown Date: 8/26/2009 11:57:00 AM Diane, do not stop your tears. Let them flow and look up to heaven and talk with your dad. He is listening. My mother is there and she sees me cry as I am talking to her up in heaven. I do not say good bye to her we never did that when she was here on earth. I tell her I will see later. And she smiles down to me. Love you dear friend, Carol Login to Reply

Charmaine Chircop Date: 8/26/2009 11:36:00 AM its hard not to cry reading this poem my friend.....God blessed you with a son and though it is so hard to see cos family is family and we are human, God blessed your dad on that day too with the gift of heaven,he never said goodbye my friend,so you didnt lose that chance,your dad stayed with you in spirit and im sure you can feel him--you are a gem on our site--God bless you all--charma Login to Reply