Twin Heart Rate Monitors

I couldn’t even stop myself from sacrificing everything for you How could I be trusted with your last breath? My recital of a photo albums worth of memories Induced a coat of water in everyone's eyes But how could they possibly commiserate without being you or I? And as I'm standing here, hovering over your padded table they call a mattress Ripping the stitches out between my lips So I can conjure a voice to tell you everything I bottled up I may have brought forth these emotions raw, but I’m no rational inhibitor I already voted out lethal injection As my self indoctrination But my first urge is to join you When you let go of these grapples I have you tied to As I watch you start to fade, Your eyes turn milky as the nerves twist silently All you’ve ever wanted was an existence where you’re seldom alone One hand latched in yours, the other on your favorite sweater That I rub on me for one last time, like a fading cologne And I think over mentally, This contract I had written for my sanity And I wonder who's left with guilt and blood on their hands When my lease is over And it's hard to point fingers when a disturb mind is signing sober Looking at the wall clock, I feel as though it's the first moment ever Where time truly doesn't matter I can tell you've lost control but I don't feel I ever had it either As we're beckoned further by this cliff, I wrap your waist with the ropes I garnered And I tie them around my hands, Committed like gloves to a gardner And I scream at the top of my lungs internally My tears will rinse the rope burn as I feel you pulling harder I already scoured every drawer, every desk, for a loophole to avoid the coroner But I understand within myself, That I can't be conscious and toxically avoidant, with your spirit lingering in the corner