Twilight

"Twillight"*

A 'Swan' in town
can be found on
school ground --that's me

bored and off qi
rain daunts me --'till
I see him there...

can't help but stare
his eyes glare --so
aware...I thirst!


©deborah burch
4/10/2012

_________________________________________
*inspired by the book/movie: "Twilight"
Form: than-bauk
Copyright © | Year Posted 2012

Poem

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Guzzi Avatar
April 26, 2012 at 3:32 PM
Congrad's on your win. Light & Love
Kendrick Avatar
April 19, 2012 at 4:43 PM
Got a chuckle...Great winning work..Congrats..Sara
Brown Avatar
April 19, 2012 at 5:34 AM
Congratulations on your well deserved win in Nette's "Than-Bauk" contest Deborah. Love, Carol
Aul Avatar
April 18, 2012 at 12:57 PM
Nicely done...........George
Johnson Avatar
April 18, 2012 at 11:41 AM
Congratulations on your inspiration. And win. Love, Joyce
Tams The Golden Girl Avatar
April 18, 2012 at 5:58 AM
Congratulations on your well deserved win Deb xx
Fitzgerald Avatar
April 11, 2012 at 9:49 AM
Sweet write Deborah , Best wishes ,Declan xxx
Burch Avatar
April 11, 2012 at 10:01 AM
Thank you so much Dec...it's good to see you...BIG HUGGS (((((O))))),love deb
Onclaud Avatar
April 11, 2012 at 2:51 AM
hi susan... the first 3 lines are okay.. treed on 4th line doesn;t seem to rhyme with "machine", and so on... you got 6-9 lines right.. did i make sense or are you more confused??.. let me know!..:) huggs!
Burch Avatar
April 11, 2012 at 2:57 AM
lol...no nette, I understand now...and I can't blame this on my blonde hair either :O!! Let me see what I can do... thank you so much...lol..love, deb
Onclaud Avatar
April 11, 2012 at 2:11 AM
thanks for joining, deborah.. so nice!.. kindly check rhyme pattern and syl count... i have placed an example on the contest page.. if you need to revise, just edit and update your poem... will do another blog on this later!:) huggs!
The Drunken Poet Avatar
April 11, 2012 at 12:36 AM
Great write.
Burch Avatar
April 11, 2012 at 12:54 AM
Thanx Elliot, so much...big huggs,love deb
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