Twilight

I walk on the beach approaching night,
while sunset slumbers awaiting my sight
upon its descent to breech twilight.
The half-breed child of night and day,
is slowly dying and slipping away,
turning golden hue to grey.

Night has arrived, I turn my eye,
back to the moment just passed by,
disappearing into a constant sky.
Tomorrow will come, the sun will rise,
and I will walk toward its demise,
a bit more tired...a bit more wise.

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Raul Moreno

Date: 6/6/2009 10:00:00 AM

Hello Patricia, I was going to leave you a soup mail but it was not activated. I wanted to tell you the story behind my poem. If you ever activate it, send me a soup mail and I will return the story, thanks for your appreciated comments. Iambic Pentameter is a fun form to write in, I dab in many forms, nice work by the way...Raul

Sajdah Al-Riyami

Date: 6/5/2009 12:50:00 PM

wOnderful and mOving.Thank you for your comments and regarding them non of my poems(excluding "sky dreamer")are of life experience but are of lives of many i dear loved who had no words to describe such experiences.Sorry for your loss.

Patricia Langston-Moran

Date: 11/27/2008 5:02:00 AM

Kristin. Thank you for answering me and thank God you realized in time and did not do this terrible thing. I think perhaps we have all, at one time or another, been in such dispair that we might have 'thought' of it. Good for you. You thought of your loved ones first. He was too agonized, I guess. If only he had reached out to me, I would have gone to him. Thanks for your concern. Love, Patricia

Kristin Baker

Date: 11/26/2008 2:12:00 PM

Patricia I am sorry about your loss. The poem My Suicide Note was written at a low point in my life a few years ago. The way you are feeling now about your husbands loss is exactly why I couldn't go through with it. I couldn't leave my loved ones with distraught feelings, and knowing how much it would hurt them. I only wish there were more people who realize that. Again I'm sorry for your loss and I wish you the best.

Keith Bickerstaffe

Date: 11/13/2008 12:36:00 PM

a wonderful concluding line... superb rhyme scheme and flow. BRAVO Patricia! Keith

Date: 11/10/2008 12:08:00 PM

Interesting poem for reflection. It has a lot of depth for a short poem. Nice use of rhyme. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us and for your kind words regarding my poem. Keep on writing! Karen

Lisa Cooper

Date: 11/10/2008 8:14:00 AM

awesome imagery, thank you for sharing

Deneen White

Date: 9/1/2008 11:47:00 AM

Hi Ms Patricia, I read this again, and it provoked in me a feeling of peace and tranquil thoughts, write some more, and cleanse yourself through your writing, it is always a catharsis for me, a way of healing, and you are very talented, I write my best when I am going through hardships, take care hun, always, my heart bleeds for you, and thank you for taking the time out to read my writes, that means alot to me, D-nyce

Deneen White

Date: 8/30/2008 7:23:00 PM

Patricia, hi i am truly sorry maybe in time some one who deserves you will find you take care D-nyce

Deneen White

Date: 8/30/2008 6:14:00 PM

this is a great and intuitive write, it speaks to the very heart of me, take care D-nyce