Twelve Days of Christmas

His young bride took the Twelve Days of Christmas to extremes it seems!
His true love kept piling on strange things well beyond his fairest dreams!
On the First Day of Christmas she gave him a shovel for shoveling snow.
On the Second Day of Christmas she gave him a fifty-cent jug of Red Bordeaux.
On the Third Day of Christmas he was presented with a scruffy mutt.
On the Fourth Day of Christmas he received a one-way ticket to Terre-Haute.
On the Fifth Day of Christmas she graced his skull with a silly beanie cap.
On the Sixth Day of Christmas she handed him an African contour map.
On the Seventh Day of Christmas he received a used Michelin radial tire.
On the Eighth Day of Christmas he was stunned to get a strand of barbed wire.
On the Ninth Day of Christmas he got a life-membership in the Red Hat Society.
On the Tenth Day of Christmas a collection of horseshoes, a most bizarre variety.
On the Eleventh Day of Christmas a parrot that spoke naughty words so gross.
On the Twelfth Day of Christmas he got the Visa Card bill leaving him morose.
He was underwhelmed by all this useless stuff and thought it mighty *****.
He was under the impression that Christmas came but once a year!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved

Placed No.3 in PD'S "12 Days of X-Mass" Contest - December 2012
Copyright © | Year Posted 2012

Poem

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Hicks Avatar
May 27, 2013 at 11:11 AM
... and he thought the first 11 days were bad, that the twelfth one was the icing on the cake! Silly Christmas carols and their bizarre words... *shrugs*
Guzzi Avatar
January 8, 2013 at 6:59 AM
Nice going Bob. Congrad's on your win. Light & Love
Horne Avatar
January 2, 2013 at 1:04 PM
LOL, love this fun, Bob. Thanks so much to both of you for your kindness
Ryerson Avatar
December 31, 2012 at 10:44 AM
I hear Terre-Haute is rather nice this time of year...I suppose the barbed wire was intended to discourage the hampster she bought for his birthday? (with his Visa Card of course) and I assume the beanie cap was equiped with one of those little propellers (one has to have SOME form of transportation) Congrats, my friend and have blessed 2013 - Tim
Roberts Avatar
December 27, 2012 at 11:58 AM
Congrats Robert.....Seren
Gasun Avatar
December 26, 2012 at 9:43 PM
It's a unique and splendid poem which portraits cute/delightful presents on Christmas! I love it and have extremely enjoyed reading it. Big congratulations on your super win my dear friend, Robert! love/hugs, Leonora
Arowolo Avatar
December 26, 2012 at 2:37 PM
Fantastic piece,Robert..Lovely write...Congrats on your super win in this contest...
Eastman Avatar
December 26, 2012 at 1:42 PM
Poor guy! But congratulations on a great write and win!
Dietrich Avatar
December 26, 2012 at 12:38 PM
Congrats on your unique entry. You put a lot of work into yours! Hope you had a very merry Xmas.
Tams The Golden Girl Avatar
December 26, 2012 at 6:59 AM
Congratulations Robert a super win, love it xx
A   Avatar
December 25, 2012 at 8:47 PM
Bob H, ;-) Congratulations with your little Christmas win... have a nice one... always~ PD
Macfarlane Avatar
December 25, 2012 at 8:45 PM
Thanks for the chuckle Bob,, delightful write! Merry Christmas, hope you had an amazing day filled with love and blessings! Hugs
Dietrich Avatar
December 19, 2012 at 4:40 PM
hahaha, just had to see YOUR take on the theme. You did it very well, Robert!!!
Tams The Golden Girl Avatar
December 17, 2012 at 10:30 AM
Hi Robert love this one. Wishing you and yours all the best through the festivities my friend xx
Andresen Avatar
December 15, 2012 at 11:23 AM
So brilliantly written Bob, I love it from beginning to end. - Christmas hug to you on day 15 in December. - oxox / / Anne-Lise :)
Andresen Avatar
December 15, 2012 at 11:23 AM
Luck in contest !
May Avatar
December 14, 2012 at 4:47 PM
a fun and delightful write Robert...thanks for stopping by...Sesons Greetings to you and yours....
Lamoureux Avatar
December 14, 2012 at 3:05 PM
Don't add my name to her Christmas list, I have enough junk of my own. Fun Poem Jack.
Harrell Avatar
December 14, 2012 at 12:13 AM
Lol, what gifts. Those would occupy him for a year. He is so loved, isn't he? Love it, Bob. Great job. A funny one. Good luck with the contest.
Kendrick Avatar
December 13, 2012 at 6:23 PM
Got a few chuckles..How did you manage to think up all of these..Enjoyed reading this eve..Thanks for the kind review of my work..Sara
Carrillo Avatar
December 13, 2012 at 4:19 PM
Robert; this one of a kind. Leave it up to you - to come up with something like this. Loved it. Thanks for sharing and good luck. Lucilla
Collins Avatar
December 13, 2012 at 9:20 AM
Bob - The perfect time to say Merry Christmas (and all that jazz). love, Kathy
West Avatar
December 12, 2012 at 5:28 PM
What a great poeem Bob, really enjoyed reading it. Rollo
Sivey Avatar
December 12, 2012 at 11:35 AM
This is a wonderful and a spectacular write my friend! You have written a splendid and delightful poem Bob! I really enjoyed reading this incredible and stupendous piece this afternoon! What a fun poem, Great Work!!
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