Twas the Night Before Christmas Hillbilly Style

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the hills The kinfolk were drinkin' as they tend to their stills The longjohns were hung by the chimney with care No stockings were found, just underwear The children were nestled so high in their bunks Their quilts made of skins from rabbits and skunks Granny with her false teeth and gun on her knee Was waiting for Santa as she sat by the tree From out of the barn there arose such a noise We thought it was Grandpa drinkin' with the boys But what to my wandering eye should appear It was just cousin Cleatus in mama's brassiere And then from the rooftop we heard it at last Like the sound of thunder or a shot gun blast We have Christmas dinner, it's finally here Granny kidnapped Santa while we shot his deer Venison all covered with onions for stew And even old Santa enjoyed some too His belly was full when he walked out the door But he couldn't resist when we offered him more Well that's the story of our Christmas here Merry Christmas to all 'til the same time next year