Twas the Night Before Christmas Hillbilly Style

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the hills
The kinfolk were drinkin' as they tend to their stills

The longjohns were hung by the chimney with care
No stockings were found, just underwear

The children were nestled so high in their bunks
Their quilts made of skins from rabbits and skunks

Granny with her false teeth and gun on her knee
Was waiting for Santa as she sat by the tree

From out of the barn there arose such a noise
We thought it was Grandpa drinkin' with the boys

But what to my wandering eye should appear
It was just cousin Cleatus in mama's brassiere

And then from the rooftop we heard it at last
Like the sound of thunder or a shot gun blast

We have Christmas dinner, it's finally here
Granny kidnapped Santa while we shot his deer

Venison all covered with onions for stew
And even old Santa enjoyed some too

His belly was full when he walked out the door
But he couldn't resist when we offered him more

Well that's the story of our Christmas here
Merry Christmas to all 'til the same time next year
Copyright © | Year Posted 2010

Poem

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Eastman Avatar
November 8, 2011 at 11:33 AM
One of the best and most imaginative I ever read. Congratulations on your win... You did great and earned it.
Brown Avatar
November 7, 2011 at 1:20 PM
Congratulations on your win in P.D.'s "Hoiday Poem"contest Larry. Love, Carol
A   Avatar
November 5, 2011 at 9:45 PM
LARRY ;-) CONGRATULATIONS, thank you for supporting my contest... I'm just dropping by to give everyone a warm congratulations and gratitude from the heart. ((you may get this comment more than once, if you entered more than one of my contest this week)) Have a wonderful weekend, GOD BLESS,..p.d.
Taylor Avatar
November 5, 2011 at 8:29 AM
Congrats, Larry. Awesome piece. LOL. I guess Santa will have a brand new heard this year. Hope this finds you and yours all well. Regards. Ralph
Taylor Avatar
December 5, 2010 at 4:09 PM
A riot, Larry. Something I'd like to witness. Ralph
Dietrich Avatar
December 2, 2010 at 8:13 PM
That mean old santa eating Rudolph. hahaha. And those other mean hillbillies. this was VERY good. Humor is your forte. LUv, Andrea
Goff Avatar
December 2, 2010 at 2:50 PM
good one! Larry! had me smilin! poor Rudolph!
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