Turmoil At the North Pole
Santa got a dui,
Too much whiskey, too much rye,
Mrs. Claus filed for divorce,
Dasher's wife pregnant by a horse,
Rudolph addicted to crack,
The elves were evicted and moved in a shack,
China now makes all the toys,
For all the foreign girls and boys,
American taxpayers pay for it all,
Santa's license suspended, so please do not call.
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