True Loss
I feel as time is slipping away. I lost my father a couple weeks ago. I lost my mother 9
years ago. I have obviously experienced loss in my life but when my father passed i felt as if
everything was slowly slipping away. I loved him. I admired him. I saw how strong his
commitment to his family was to his children to his wife. He was a father to many. I
breakdown every time his name is brought up. I can't seem to move. I know he is gone but i
can't find reason within to accept it. I remember when my mother died it was a Sunday it
was fathers day. I felt nothing so she was gone life goes on right. So i didn't cry. I didn't
mourn her death. I didn't care for her I always saw her as a selfish woman. She sacrificed
me for her own sanity. I hated her for everything she did and everything she said. The way
she would look at me as if sickened by my sight. My cries meant nothing to her. My screams
filled with fear and agony meant nothing to her. She was cold. My father was warm. He
comforted me. He didn't push me away. He didn't ignore me. He listened. He didn't hate me.
He was a wonderful and not a day goes by that i don't think of him. I miss him and i don't
know how to say goodbye. I don't know what to do anymore. I always knew life wasn't that
fairytale everyone tries to paint for you as a child. I just never lost anyone close to me. I
have felt pain since i could remember. I learned to cry before i learned to smile. losing him
has made me realize true pain, true grief, and true loss.
Copyright © Veronica Perez | Year Posted 2010
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