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Trespasser

As storm clouds burst and lightning flashed, He ran towards the graveyard gate: He’d find a place to shelter there, Although he knew the hour was late. The carvings lit by lightning bolts, The totem poles looked eerie then; He stood beneath, and looking round, He gasped to see some painted men. They circled him with whooping cries; The rain beat down and thunder boomed. He knew he’d trespassed on their land - And fainted, knowing he was doomed… Jack Horne, written 14th August for Francine’s Totems in the Darkening Sky

Copyright © | Year Posted 2011




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Date: 8/23/2011 1:44:00 PM
Congratulations on your placement in Francine Roberts' "Totems in the Darkening Sky" contest Jack. Love, Carol
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Date: 8/20/2011 4:30:00 PM
Jack: Congratulations on your win! Great job... I could have read on... Caryl Ramsdale
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Date: 8/20/2011 10:12:00 AM
Very creative Jack...nice rhymes..congrats on your win. BG
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Date: 8/20/2011 3:51:00 AM
hey jack congrats on your win David
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Date: 8/20/2011 2:02:00 AM
Congratulations Jack on your top ten win with this tale. Joyce
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Date: 8/20/2011 12:04:00 AM
Congrats Jack on your top ten win in Totem contest my friend with this wonderful write and entry luv... leaving on vaca Sat. at 10 a.m. est USA time..so see ya soon luv..
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Date: 8/19/2011 10:33:00 PM
congrats on your 10th place win in the contest Jack, great job
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Date: 8/19/2011 9:40:00 PM
a very creative write, enjoyed it. thank you for commenting on Farewell for now soupers. i may be back later, but i also want to spend time trying to get some of my poetry published, and can't do while spending time on soup.
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Date: 8/15/2011 3:52:00 PM
a creative SHIFT, jack.. winning wishes to you.. come visit my shardoma poem; i have an incite for you..:) huggs, nette
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Date: 8/15/2011 1:16:00 PM
I second all the "Wows," Jack. This is superb! I could picture this man's venture into the graveyard so clearly and then seeing Native American spirits making him feel doomed for trespassing. Awesome entry for the contest! Good luck, my friend. Love, Carolyn
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Date: 8/15/2011 12:47:00 AM
wow! without knowing,,, jack.. good luck in the contest, I hope all is well with you,..p.d.
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Date: 8/14/2011 10:04:00 PM
Wow, OUT OF THE BOX, my friend, like Jack in the box scary!! LOVE it.
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Date: 8/14/2011 8:19:00 PM
WoW! Scarey night. A good one for Halloween. A good entry for the contest. Good luck my friend. God Blesss, JB
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Date: 8/14/2011 6:58:00 PM
Good luck in the contest...Reads like a winner to me..I got a chuckle reading this one..Thanks for stopping by, reading, and commenting on my work..Sara
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Date: 8/14/2011 6:31:00 PM
this was awesome good luck in the contest with this gem cory
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Date: 8/14/2011 5:57:00 PM
enjoyed the imagery within this, you have a flair for painting a vivid picture, but count the times you used the words "the" and "he", learn to cut down on them and your work will be much more effective.....nice job
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Date: 8/14/2011 5:56:00 PM
This was great. So glad I stopped by to read it today.
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Date: 8/14/2011 5:45:00 PM
I like this one. Very vivid with emotion and imagry. Good luck in the contest
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Date: 8/14/2011 5:30:00 PM
Wow, this is great..I want to hear what happened next.....BG
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Date: 8/14/2011 5:27:00 PM
like ancient curses of old Jack .. a fabulous rhyme for the contest my friend.. luv those eerie faces in the totems and the thunder booms.. we had a blackout overnight and our power just returned .. still pouring rain.. no one allowed in ocean ..not even boats..oh.. temps went from 92 to 70 overnight..oh..
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