Jack Horne Poet Rhyme

Trespasser

As storm clouds burst and lightning flashed,
He ran towards the graveyard gate:
He’d find a place to shelter there,
Although he knew the hour was late.

The carvings lit by lightning bolts,
The totem poles looked eerie then;
He stood beneath, and looking round,
He gasped to see some painted men.

They circled him with whooping cries;
The rain beat down and thunder boomed.
He knew he’d trespassed on their land -
And fainted, knowing he was doomed…

Jack Horne, written 14th August for Francine’s Totems in the Darkening Sky

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Carol Sunshine Brown August 23, 2011 at 1:44 PM Congratulations on your placement in Francine Roberts' "Totems in the Darkening Sky" contest Jack. Love, Carol

Caryl Ramsdale August 20, 2011 at 4:30 PM Jack: Congratulations on your win! Great job... I could have read on... Caryl Ramsdale

Barbara Gorelick August 20, 2011 at 10:12 AM Very creative Jack...nice rhymes..congrats on your win. BG

David Williams August 20, 2011 at 3:51 AM hey jack congrats on your win David

Joyce Johnson August 20, 2011 at 2:02 AM Congratulations Jack on your top ten win with this tale. Joyce

Linda-Marie Sweetheart August 20, 2011 at 12:04 AM Congrats Jack on your top ten win in Totem contest my friend with this wonderful write and entry luv... leaving on vaca Sat. at 10 a.m. est USA time..so see ya soon luv..

Francine Roberts August 19, 2011 at 10:33 PM congrats on your 10th place win in the contest Jack, great job

James Foulk August 19, 2011 at 9:40 PM a very creative write, enjoyed it. thank you for commenting on Farewell for now soupers. i may be back later, but i also want to spend time trying to get some of my poetry published, and can't do while spending time on soup.

Nette Onclaud August 15, 2011 at 3:52 PM a creative SHIFT, jack.. winning wishes to you.. come visit my shardoma poem; i have an incite for you..:) huggs, nette

Carolyn Devonshire August 15, 2011 at 1:16 PM I second all the "Wows," Jack. This is superb! I could picture this man's venture into the graveyard so clearly and then seeing Native American spirits making him feel doomed for trespassing. Awesome entry for the contest! Good luck, my friend. Love, Carolyn

Poet Destroyer A August 15, 2011 at 12:47 AM wow! without knowing,,, jack.. good luck in the contest, I hope all is well with you,..p.d.

Andrea Dietrich August 14, 2011 at 10:04 PM Wow, OUT OF THE BOX, my friend, like Jack in the box scary!! LOVE it.

Judy Ball August 14, 2011 at 8:19 PM WoW! Scarey night. A good one for Halloween. A good entry for the contest. Good luck my friend. God Blesss, JB

Sara Kendrick August 14, 2011 at 6:58 PM Good luck in the contest...Reads like a winner to me..I got a chuckle reading this one..Thanks for stopping by, reading, and commenting on my work..Sara

Cory Long August 14, 2011 at 6:31 PM this was awesome good luck in the contest with this gem cory

Bob Shank August 14, 2011 at 5:57 PM enjoyed the imagery within this, you have a flair for painting a vivid picture, but count the times you used the words "the" and "he", learn to cut down on them and your work will be much more effective.....nice job

Kimberly Larocca August 14, 2011 at 5:56 PM This was great. So glad I stopped by to read it today.

Steven Mossburg August 14, 2011 at 5:45 PM I like this one. Very vivid with emotion and imagry. Good luck in the contest

Barbara Gorelick August 14, 2011 at 5:30 PM Wow, this is great..I want to hear what happened next.....BG

Linda-Marie Sweetheart August 14, 2011 at 5:27 PM like ancient curses of old Jack .. a fabulous rhyme for the contest my friend.. luv those eerie faces in the totems and the thunder booms.. we had a blackout overnight and our power just returned .. still pouring rain.. no one allowed in ocean ..not even boats..oh.. temps went from 92 to 70 overnight..oh..