Trauma Bond
A lie told of a lover past,
went off in you like a mortar blast.
It was brief,
and before I knew you,
but you'd never see that like most people do.
Though he never posed a threat, it put me forever in your debt.
The debt to pay, not monetary.
It broke me down psychologically.
Accusations came from deep in the blue.
You'd say, "I can never trust in you".
Though I know it was unfounded, I believed it was my fault.
It was something I did
that gave you the liberty
to mercilessly berate and torment me.
To watch me give, bend, break, and prove,
and I did it all
because I loved you.
But when it got too much to take,
I'd shut down and pull away.
So then you'd bathe me in love and adoration,
talk of a family, a future,
show patience.
You'd act like it would all get better, but then you'd slip
and start spitting venom.
Your eyes would darken and hone in on me,
and I would sit there anxiously.
For I always knew what would come next,
you'd rip my heart right from my chest.
You'd tell me I was low caliber,
used up, pathetic
not as good as "her".
The onslaught would last until you ran out of steam,
then you'd wake up so differently.
The color returning to your eyes, you'd act with remorse,
sometimes you cried.
So, I would forgive.
It's the way of my heart.
The ticking clock would again, restart.
I watched you lie and smear my name.
Harming me, the goal of your twisted game.
You never spoke the honest truth, knowing the finger would point at you.
Your past of jealousy, abuse, and damage
had grown too vast for you to manage.
The warnings came, but I ignored them, convinced you were a different man.
But the isolation had crept in,
slowly withdrawing from my kin.
I was spinning fast out of control, nothing solid to have or hold.
Then you'd come back and show me love,
and I would believe it was enough.
Stuck in a bond so traumatized,
That leaving made me feel I'd die.
There's a monster that lurks behind your smile,
diabolical, cruel, easy to rile.
Caught in your crosshairs, I couldn't see
that loving you was killing me.
Post Comments
Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.
Please
Login
to post a comment
Turn off ads, get more exposure for your poetry, and get more features with a
Premium Membership.
