Transparent

I feel lonely in my crowded home. Where peace of mind didn't exist at all. Happiness dares not, to knock on my door. The one I should be trying to escape towards. Spinning in circles. I can tell you what's next. A repetition of disaster. It's my life of self neglect. Why do I stay? Because its familiar. I'm terrified of new things. But I do dream of better. I'm more than a mess. Where do I begin? I feel I should call out for help. But where are any friends? Alone I am. I just exist. More like a ghost, who's transparent.