Transcendental Exploits

Most everything written (and learned ya in school) Yukon coon sitter, (and bet your bottom dollar) tibia bunch of contrived information all details bu...bu...bull...low knee within this poetic missive after spending a lifetime crunch ching numbers, the following singularly just my hunch, but despite minuscule approximate i.e. kid size lunch meal, (sans two clenched fists, and weighing about 1.5 kilograms), not much to munch, yet if smacked in the kisser by a pugilist visited square in the jaw deadly (Judy hush hiss) sucker punch whereby the unlucky recipient may see "unlucky stars" after brows severely scrunched, thee above poppycock, and potentially "FAKE" though (Ripley deed lee) believe able to ye, nonetheless behooves me to segue-way (by Segway) to pre sent a "TRUE" revelation see (gnome hatter, aye cheese silly contradict mice elf alias Stuart Little) prithee please just accept what I write with a grain of salt (from the Sultan Sea), cuz yawl do yarself grave injury and lodge a gree vance against this harmless right ham handed cree chore from the outer limits of the twilight zone, thus I STRONGLY ADVISE thee, NOT to stake eh knee un mensch chin hubble cogitation, and figuratively swallow, hook, conga line and sinker thine highly suspect re dunk yule us gobbledygook mee cully (meekly) reed this more so asthma childish entertainment, hence oak key jist put aside any urgent task to revel as sigh bee devil logical syntax with sum man tricks playfully wasting yar precious time free cully (freakily) inventing outlandish nee incoherent yawping, towering, and brutally butchering, Brooklyn speak (homer over mayor later mother), she nearly always... er added letters "er" at'er the ender her sentences - er stain?