Too Loud to Stay Loved

My tongue, a beast that bites me first. I wanna shut it down, never to speak again. My voice, a wild river, Yet keeps flooding, careless of consequence. My lips, in a race, while everyone hopes— “Would they ever learn silence?” My brain, too messy, Spills out without a thought. All cures, I’ve tried— Nothing worked. The words kept flying— Some hurt. Some haunt. Some hang in the air. Some make them shift, some make them stare. Some push away… each one a weight I carry alone. I’ve grown. I’m “mature.” Yet I hate what some people adore. I wish to sit in solitude, even when the room hums with chaos. But I fail, Once I speak, I drown in the noise. I regret, I feel guilty, But there's no button to erase. I never speak wrong or false, Just the words, that shift in meaning, lost in translation. The voice, once echoed, makes those who care, who love, wish they’d never known me. A disappointment on their face— Wishing they could rewind just one moment back. They want me to change, Not go wild, not lose control and be mad. Not shout, not blurt, not make myself known. I am an embarrassment, a mistake they wish had stayed silent. Love on condition, weirdly care. teaching lessons through guilt and unease. Yet I forget, the very next moment, and I can’t tell. Extroversy - my storm, Introversy - a dream I never reach.