Tongue-Tied Dispatches

In the realm of self-interest, a curious soul, Could not adhere stamps, sans wit owning a role. His tongue, like a rover in arid terrain, Lingered on whimsy, a scoffing refrain. Precision eluded, in blindfolded dance, Tongue franking an effort, missing each chance. The stamp, a library of lore unbespoke, His tongue still meandered, lost in each stroke. Like giraffes when they strain ~ reaching treetops, His sealing endeavor was a clumsy hopscotch. The stamp lay there mocking, a coaxed witticism, Tongue still missed the mark, a terrible tourism! Metaphors clung, but not on the letter, A longing unfilled, his tongue never got wetter. The envelope sighed, craved wit's lifting brew, Yet his tongue frolicked, having wandered no clue. He licked and he slurped, as though miming delight, A grand postal crime, a federal plight! Metaphors piled up, unsent missives distressed, His sense of himself was a bewildering behest. In the spirit of levity, a story confided, A stamp unadhered, a metaphor provided. When engaging with mail, overcome by caprice of, Just leave the attempt and go buy self-adhesive.