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Today's Memorial Day

“Today's” Memorial Day Homily Excerpt

*Note: I had to cut almost half of my metaphysical homily as to not exceed the character count. My goal is to share the most salient points.

I'm sharing lessons “MY VETERANS” taught me regarding their views and reflections about the changes and loss of Memorial Day's original intent. My reference to veterans also includes active duty service members.

For 24 years I worked as a mental health clinician case manager for a VA Transitional Residential Program For Homeless Veterans. I worked where they LIVED. I can't pinpoint when I began regarding them as MY vets.

Traditionally, Memorial Day was a day to honor and remember the men and women who died in service for our country. Over time, many veterans noted that Memorial Day's purpose shifted. This shift seems to have started and centered around the 1970’s Vietnam anti-war movement.

Memorial Day parades now seems to focus more on the promise of joy and fun. Now, there still is a small solemn regard for our known and unknown fallen service members. It’s when small groups of veterans proudly walk by, THEN we clap and cheer with token and abbreviated remembrance.

Instead, Memorial Day seems to be replaced with the celebration of a day off from work, highlighted with plans for get-togethers, outings, boating, hiking, etc.

Is it surprising that many veterans believe that the majority of people no longer remember and revere their fallen dead?

Over the years, many shared what they thought about Memorial Day, the changes they saw, and the personal impact. The following descriptions are the most memorable.

One battle scarred man told me that he drinks himself into a stupor. He cannot bear the onslaught of multiple apparitions that haunt him on that day.

Another shared memories of the fallen with pride, solemn regard, reverence, and respect. His remembrance is absent of bone crushing angst. 

The third expressed rage over the treatment he and his brothers-in-arms received when they got off the plane. Screamed at and then felt spittle drip off their faces. He asked, HOW and WHY in the world would I want to put aside a day to remember THAT? Instead, WE honor our fallen comrades throughout the year, without those memories of screaming and spittle.

What could I say? I had no words, and rightly so…

Clearly, Memorial Day changed from its original intent, and is no longer the same for most veterans and service members.

There are countless polarized views about life's purpose. In particular, the polarization between veterans and “us” civilians. As a result, everyone is robbed from seeing the common and shared values. Although, polarized, each group lives in harmony with their beliefs, and their TRUTH defines true spirituality.

I had the unique privilege and humbling bird's eye view of many veterans' emotional traumas. I witnessed annual anguish, guilt, survivor’s guilt and self-blame, and PTSD driven nightmares and night terrors. Fueled by devastating loss for their fallen friends and brothers-in-arms, and their own horrific experiences. I tried to hold space for these honorable and noble men and women, our visible warriors, as they suffered.

I experienced sacred astonishment when some trusted me to share pieces of their private and personal hell, experiences and crushing memories. At times, those memories literally put their lives in danger by suicide or addiction. Sadly, I knew way too many that succeeded.

There are no words I can use to adequately describe the impact I witnessed for them, and me.

They fought thankless, misunderstood, and even marked with disdain, battles for our freedom. This included their unwavering devotion to fight for known and unknown civilians. They did this for our freedom, our way of life, and our right to choose our OWN path.

I learned how veterans see things differently. Their reality IS and WAS a hidden world, defending and protecting “us,” against international threats and terrorists. Those THREATS who ARE and WERE intent on forcing their way of life and beliefs onto us.

Should those THREATS succeed in cramming their way down our throats, then this very act could rob us of our free will! This “highway or right way" theme is prevalent and pervasive worldwide.

Our metaphysical community refers to the military as VISIBLE warriors, and we are the INVISIBLE spiritual warriors.

Our VISIBLE warriors, past and present, fight on our behalf. Their world is considered as the complete opposite from our world, and mostly void of any common ground…

We all know and even feel divisions insisting that their way is the highway. I don't know about any of the rest of you; now, I am more cautious and selective as to who and what I share topics with, such as my metaphysical spirituality. This also includes other “molotov cocktail” topics.

It's hard to find people with polarized views willing to have a civil conversation. Subsequently and sadly, we lose a chance to know each other's world. I treasure those “the other” talks.

My warriors taught me hard truths. Their world and true purpose is hidden from us, as our “VISIBLE warriors,” fighting abstract and invisible threats. They prevent these threats from overtaking our country and subsequently our lives. THIS IS their spiritual purpose and dedication, and their belief of an honorable and noble calling, on our behalf.

Over the past couple of years, I received repeated "metaphysical messages" that we need the balance of VISIBLE and INVISIBLE warriors. Our VISIBLE warriors distract and refocuses the THREATS attention away from us. The THREATS mustn't see us coming. We must be invisible and concealed, so we can do our most effective work.

It shouldn't have surprised me to hear that most veterans I talked with truly want the same peace we pray and strive for. Instead, these hidden threats thwart and interfere with living our shared desire and goal.

My vets helped me to truly understand how and why alcoholism and drug addiction are so prevalent, even sought after. Addiction buffered and protected them from intolerable pain and suffering. I have much compassion, appreciation, and respect for them.

I have memories of the fallen warriors I knew and worked with. Many fell by suicide, addiction, especially drug overdose.

So many veterans touched and enriched my life. They don't know that in some ways, they gave me more… than I gave them.

I still miss many who meant so much to me. One veteran was one of the funniest men I knew. He gave me multiple gifts of side splitting laughter. Right now, I can almost feel my stomach and ribs ache.

Tragically, he was the most torn apart by survivor's guilt I worked with. I had to wait to get home to cry after I was told he died and how. I grieved knowing his unique gift to me was forever gone.

We all need to hope things can BE better to GET better.

So now, I see Memorial Day marked by complex and divergent factors. I have a greater understanding and respect for veterans’ spiritual connection for their service.

This Memorial Day, I plan to honor the fallen men and women I knew… Paul, Ben, Matthew, Becky, Kristina… to name a few. Plus, the faces whose names elude me with a frustrating fleeting whisper.

I hope I encouraged and inspired you, in a meaningful way, to set aside time, to honor the known and unknown fallen service members.

Sherry Barton 
May 19, 2024

Copyright © Sherry Barton | Year Posted 2025

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