To Whom It May Concern

In an attempt to document my worth to your esteemed organization, I hereby submit my unredacted resume. I was educated using blocks, books, chalk, blackboards and the slide rule. “Testing” was used to “evaluate” progress and assist in future choices. I graduated Magna cum softly from a “free” education facility with a double major in life and its unlimited learning experiences. I am presently enrolled in its post graduate “Masters” program. I am currently up to date on all of the recent “vaccinations”, upgrades and mask wearing theory. I do, however, suffer from a long-standing problem with a “work ethic” issue and find it difficult not to show up and produce as I believe it is important to my remaining gainfully employed. When asked by another employee a question such as: “I wonder what he/she thinks?” I usually reply: “I’m more concerned about why you're so concerned about what he/she thinks.” I would bring to your “work” place an open mind (not to be confused with an empty head). If you are interested in offering me employment please contact me by snail mail as my computer mysteriously disappeared last night. John G.Lawless ©3/20/2023