Timeline of Abuse

“Shh. Don’t cry please. “ But I knew he didn’t mean it. The asking. He didn’t care. He just didn’t want to get caught. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “Don’t look at me like that, like I’m the bad guy.” But how couldn’t I. ... how could I? I think I’m stuck. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “Shut up and come here. It’ll be over soon.” I wasn’t even speaking, but I’ll remain that way. Arguing is pointless, and makes the moment worse. So okay. I’m coming. Maybe today will be different. (It won’t.) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It wasn’t. So again the lesson was burned into my mind: My body is not my own. My thoughts are not my own. My life is not my own. If I stay quiet, it’s easier. I used to fight. Not anymore. After all, it’s my fault. I should like this. He likes it. I should do it for him. Why can’t I- why don’t I- I do. I don’t. I don’t know anymore. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Help me. I don’t remember when I stopped existing but I can’t find myself anymore. Help. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ .... .... .... Radio silence.