Tim Ryerson Poet Choka

Time To Move On -

if she permitted
i would have curled in a ball
in a dark closet somewhere
and wept my whole life
“too many tears are too much“
“grief is a bottomless pit”....

i read a MAAD book
that lectured me on coping
with a loved one lost
of an only son
‘lean into it’ they advised
i learned not to lean

i learned my lesson
the lesson was not to lean
on anyone but myself
and my late lost wife
i knelt face down on his rug
she came and knelt over me
when we heard the news
the news of our worst nightmare
our nightmare come true
six months of eternity
so it seemed----she knelt once more:
“it’s time to move on”...

(to this day i’ve not heeded
her advice twelve years after)


Submitted for: Anthony Slausen’s 'Moving On’ contest

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Rhonda Johnson-Saunders November 1, 2014 at 11:32 AM Hi Tim, I am always deeply touched when I read about your son and the grief you have endured. I can't help but cry as I listen to my son in the other room chomping on popcorn. I cannot imagine going through what you have gone through. Thank you for sharing your poetry and thank you for always remembering me when I cannot be here. You are a true gentleman. Love and Blessings, Rhonda

Christine Costello September 13, 2014 at 12:51 PM Tim- I've lost 3 brothers and a dear friend in 5 yrs-I was consumed by grief for a time. In remembering them through my writing, telling stories about them to others, It somehow keeps them alive and with me. I still talk to them as well. My brother Paul loved to laugh big and when I find myself cracking up I think of him and see him laughing in my mind. I think to move on I must keep them alive in my mind, heart and words-that works for me. My heart goes out to you.

Brenda Meier-Hans September 13, 2014 at 8:55 AM I am speechless as I read the pain in this prize winning poem. I could not imagine anything more painful. A wise old lady once said, loosing your partner you loose a whole side of yourself, but loose a child and you loose your heart. How could you replace that. Please know he is still here with you every moment catching all your tears.

Faye Gibson September 13, 2014 at 8:31 AM Hi, Tim. Love this, love you. Know just how you feel. Great winner.

Pandita Sietesantos September 13, 2014 at 7:51 AM Excellent write, Tim! Congratulations on your great win! Pandita

Richard Lamoureux September 13, 2014 at 7:37 AM If you have a chance read my poem "A New Dream".

Richard Lamoureux September 13, 2014 at 7:35 AM I got so caught up in your emotion that I forgot to congratulate you. Congratulations and condolences.

Richard Lamoureux September 13, 2014 at 7:33 AM I am moved by your honesty. Twelve years can feel like a single gasp. You wake up each day expecting to hold the one you have lost. Thankfuly at times they come to greet us in our dreams. Perhaps that is our time to say goodbye. I believe the best gift we can give them is to live the days we have been blessed with.

Dr. Upma A. Sharma September 12, 2014 at 11:50 PM That's an extremely touching write Tim! I can feel the pain of losing my friend! Congrats on huge win!

Charmaine Chircop September 9, 2014 at 12:59 AM ..Cont... Today,tomorrow or any day soon We all gonna shed off this dress of skin which cloaks our soul..But our soul will never die.This isnt proved only in religion but in science too.Our soul transmits such energy that never dies.Yes ,it hurts not to see those We love anymore,but We can still feel them,Listen to your silence,dont be scared of it my friend.You dont need to move on,but maybe to accept He is with you still in many ways, and am sure He wants to feel you happy.Tmfs.Im touched

Charmaine Chircop September 9, 2014 at 12:51 AM Tim,no parent can move on when losing a child.Everyday We live in their memories.They are part of our dna,and We are part of theirs.Your son didn't move on either I am sure.Now,you're two same people ,still father son,living in different worlds maybe or maybe not,but still connecting with that same loving soul.Yes,Tim,You dont need to move on,He is with you everyday,through soul He connects with you,through each thought He lives in you.You just need to accept love for different yet deeper phase.

Sara Kendrick September 8, 2014 at 12:16 PM Sad to lose someone that close and grief has its place..Everyone grieves differently and they have to grieve then learn to move on..Great topic chosen for the contest..Reads like a winner to me..Way to go ..Thanks for stopping by..Sara

Barbara Gorelick September 7, 2014 at 10:29 PM My dear, this is a tragic story, I don't believe you will ever " move on". completely. I have not lost a child, but almost did..my son had a cardiac arrest while jogging, age 34. He was :gone" for several days and then recovered thanks to wonderful initial CPR. I will never forget the terror of those days. My heart goes out to you. BG BTW..the poem is a treasure too. Tim Ryerson September 8, 2014 at 3:33 AM Thank you my dear and loyal friend! I knew from reading some of your poetry that you had experienced tragedy in your life I just didn't know who. Thanks for telling me. I know you are (or were) a nurse...Are you the one who did the CPR?

Faye Gibson September 7, 2014 at 11:54 AM Xoxoxo, my dear Tim...

Kabuteng P.Ink K. September 7, 2014 at 11:42 AM I can feel the pain reflected in your very moving poem, Tim--I can imagine wanting to curl into a ball after such a devastating loss-- my thoughts and heart still go out to you-- somehow, time never does heal wounds... I didn't realize that he was your only son, I really am so sorry :(...I don't think one can truly "move on" after a loss, maybe that's only reserved for time? As for us, we do try to move, move towards that place where we can still find them-for me, somehow it helps me deal

Monterey Sirak September 7, 2014 at 7:15 AM This is as real and full of raw emotion as it gets. One can feel your devastating grief. Some things we just have to learn to live with because we cannot move past and leave them behind.

Jan Allison September 7, 2014 at 3:59 AM You have so much pain from the tragic loss in your life - they say time is a healer and in certain aspects of your life I am sure you have moved on but some things I guess you will never get over. I hope this heartfelt write does well for you Tim:-) Hugs Jan xxx