Time To Change

It's been a pretty good day better than the last few. My anxiety feels better and my depression does too. It's like some sort of weight has been lifted off me. Like I've let go of some stress maybe that was the key. I miss my baby more than you can ever really imagine. I just hope he grows up when he gets out and stops trapping. He wants us to get married when he gets to come home. But if he doesn't change some of his ways I'll be gone. I'm sure it will hurt like hell to move on without him. It'll feel like I lost some part of me, like I lost a limb. If he doesn't change I'll have to leave cause I do love me. I'm sure he thinks ill never leave but not change & he'll see. He's gonna be gone so long that I really hate to think about it. It makes me want to curl up and cry for a little bit. I've been trying to be strong and hide how I really feel. I don't want to let anyone else in to learn my whole deal. Sometimes I feel so alone out here without him by my side. I know one day ill get use to it but it'll take some time. Sometimes I feel like my heart is being ripped from my chest I feel like him being gone so long is like some sort of test. To see how strong our relationship is and if the love is real. So I'm gonna joste him out the whole time and just chill. To see if what we have is gonna last after he gets out. And if its what I really want and if its the right route. I'll end with I'm glad I feel better than I have the last few days. And I hope when he gets out he changes some of his ways.