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Ties That Bind

I never saw a tie that had a practical use;
And I never knew why a man would want to wear a noose.

There are as many good reasons for wearing ties
As there is for cultivating mosquitos and  flies.

To cover up buttons is a  use that's named;
I never saw a button of which I'm ashamed. 

They're a social tradition, so the in folks swear it.
So is syphilis, but I wouldn't want to wear it.

They are manly attire say the folks straight and narrow;
But my manhood doesn't need designated by an arrow.

So while I am living and after I die
Save me from being strangled by a  god damned tie.

Copyright © Jerrell Jones | Year Posted 2015

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Quoth Theraven Date: 11/3/2018 1:30:00 PM Today, father, is father's day And we're giving a tie It's not much, we know It is just our way of showing you We think you're a regular guy You say it was nice of us to bother But it really was a pleasure to fuss For according to our mother you're our father And that's good enough for us! -Groucho Marx I don't care for ties much either. -Richard Login to Reply

Neva Romaine Date: 10/30/2015 11:46:00 AM Hey Jerrell, stopped by for a visit. This is hilarious to me. I never thought about a tie in these ways. I don't think I'll be able to look at another one and not think of your wonderful poem. Excellent. Be Blessed, Neva Login to Reply Jerrell Jones Date: 11/4/2015 9:15:00 AM Thanks, Neva. I'm an old hippie, Jesus freak, probably will not be understood well in these times. There is a tavern, not far from where I live, that despises ties. If you come in with one, they will cut it in half and tack it to the wall. There are some who enter the tavern wearing ties, just to get them severed and posted!