Thursday Humour

OPENED IN ERROR.

A man had bad news about his mother
Had loads to drink one after another
But later on that night
Was seen happy and bright 
Said that letter was meant for my brother.

ANGUS.

An old sailor by the name of Angus
Fell in love and married an octopus 
They had a son James
Who won gold at games
Found having six arms in sport was a plus.

OLD NICK.

The horned devil had set himself one goal
To collect from those who had a dark soul
He was on to a winner 
Saw mankind a great sinner
Said hells fires will need a lot more coal.

OLD WOMAN.

There was an old woman from Nantucket
Had no teeth so her food she would suck it
But one day she choked
On meat that was smoked
And sadly that's how she kicked the bucket.

NELLY.

There once was a young girl called Big Nelly
When she walked by she shook like a jelly
Was told to lose weight
Before its too late
So doctor's have now stapled her belly.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2019

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Vangaveti Avatar
September 16, 2019 at 7:53 AM
Where do you get these words from Tom?? Lol!! I'm rolling on the floor. :D
Cunningham Avatar
September 16, 2019 at 9:54 AM
Thanks Swetha, happy I gave you a laugh. Tom
Gilmour Avatar
September 9, 2019 at 2:57 AM
Such a great way to start a Monday Tom, hahaha! I loved your limericks, so funny. With kindest thoughts Ann xx
Cunningham Avatar
September 9, 2019 at 4:49 AM
Thank you Ann, happy you enjoyed them. We all need a bit of humour now summer has gone. Hope all's well. Tom
Dietrich Avatar
September 8, 2019 at 12:09 PM
there were some really good ones in this group. The first one was exceptionally clever!
Cunningham Avatar
September 8, 2019 at 12:43 PM
Thanks Andrea, the first one was inspired by a joke I heard in Big Jacks pub on Irelands' west coast about fifty years ago so thought I'd do a limerick. Tom
One Avatar
September 8, 2019 at 7:48 AM
These made me smile, i wonder where you get all your inspiration from... maybe you should try stand up comedy?
Cunningham Avatar
September 8, 2019 at 11:16 AM
Thanks S.O., I just love humour, not sure where I get it from though, Tom
Onclaud Avatar
September 8, 2019 at 5:44 AM
one big lol, tom... all of them were hilarious though i enjoyed angus most!.. huggs
Cunningham Avatar
September 8, 2019 at 11:13 AM
Thanks nette, happy you liked them. Tom
Rodrigues Avatar
September 8, 2019 at 5:10 AM
Funny!
Cunningham Avatar
September 8, 2019 at 11:13 AM
Thanks Kim
Proxenos Avatar
September 8, 2019 at 4:22 AM
I laughed with them all Tom, but the last limerick I enjoyed most of all, great for the collection for your Book of Limericks. Blessings, Jennifer,
Cunningham Avatar
September 8, 2019 at 11:12 AM
Thanks Jennifer, no chance at the moments, doing a PP slideshow for a forthcoming reunion so limited time. Tom
Devonshire Avatar
September 7, 2019 at 2:28 PM
Having six arms would be an asset in many types of sports. Love all these limericks, especially the one about Angus. It surprised me! Laughed out loud reading about the "Old Woman." It's hard to eat without teeth. Great work, Tom! Love, carolyn
Cunningham Avatar
September 7, 2019 at 3:10 PM
Thanks very much Carolyn, I really enjoy writing this form and of course I love humour. Tom
Lamoureux Avatar
September 7, 2019 at 1:58 PM
I’m a bit late but none the less amused.
Cunningham Avatar
September 7, 2019 at 3:07 PM
Thanks Richard, happy you enjoyed them. Tom.
Laurie Avatar
September 6, 2019 at 6:00 PM
G'day Tom … and the giggles continue Tom. Thanks again - Lindsay
Cunningham Avatar
September 7, 2019 at 10:02 AM
Thanks very much Lindsay, once I start I cant stop lol. Tom
Andresen Avatar
September 6, 2019 at 11:27 AM
... :))) ... humor at its best, Tom :) - hugs // Anne-Lise :)
Cunningham Avatar
September 6, 2019 at 12:01 PM
Thanks Anne, pleased you enjoyed them. Tom
Mcintosh Avatar
September 6, 2019 at 9:28 AM
Wow. These are fantastic. I haven't ever tried to do a limerick. Yours are awesome. Blessings to you.
Cunningham Avatar
September 6, 2019 at 10:27 AM
Thank you very much Regina, glad you enjoyed my humour. Tom
Sands Avatar
September 6, 2019 at 8:09 AM
You can write these so well Tom. Great work. Thanks for the laughs :)
Cunningham Avatar
September 6, 2019 at 10:27 AM
Thanks Heidi, happy you enjoyed them. Tom
Pandit Avatar
September 6, 2019 at 7:17 AM
Your muse is on a roll...full of wit and humor..clever write Tom. I find them so hard to write so I never try. You and Jan write them so well.
Cunningham Avatar
September 6, 2019 at 10:26 AM
Thanks Vijay, must admit when I first started my syllables were way out. Glad you enjoyed them. Tom
Kelii Kekaula Avatar
September 6, 2019 at 3:47 AM
I see you made new friends Tom, none to keep but Angus be a one-man show against me brood at a baseball match -- Love the wake-up ~ Aloha always William
Cunningham Avatar
September 6, 2019 at 4:16 AM
Thanks very much William, happy you enjoyed the humour. Tom
Mcguire Avatar
September 5, 2019 at 9:57 PM
Funny! Love them!
Cunningham Avatar
September 5, 2019 at 11:49 PM
Thanks Timothy, Can't stop.writing them. Tom
Bauer Avatar
September 5, 2019 at 4:53 PM
i think you enjoyed writing these as much as your readers will enjoy reading them, tom!
Cunningham Avatar
September 5, 2019 at 5:01 PM
Thanks Ilene, I have a severe case of limerkitus. I think I caught it off Jan lol. Tom
Pigeon Tart Avatar
September 5, 2019 at 4:22 PM
Lol! You're on a roll :))) Thoroughly enjoyed! xomo
Cunningham Avatar
September 5, 2019 at 4:37 PM
Thanks very much Maureen, happy you enjoyed the humour. Tom
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