Matthew Bailey Poet Free verse

Throw Me To the Single Wolves

Somethings are a slow burn 
Somethings fade slowly overtime 
Somethings burst like a repressed volcano 
And somethings drag the match across the skin 
Until a map of our intrusive thoughts are written 

Pressing my luck like an iron
Late nights staring at the ceiling 
Yelling to myself in my head
"Don't lose focus,
Don't fool yourself  
You've pieced everything together so far, rationally 
Don't lose yourself in the storm of misguided missiles 
If you don't want to be the target,
Then stop making yourself the enemy" 

Late night conversations help me realize 
what’s false justification and what’s true
But I dread the feeling of waking up 
And remembering everything I’m going through 
Could I ever make it up to you?
A mistake that holds the power of a modern military arsenal
With the unpredictability of a bubbling volcano
Could I ever even make it up to you?
You’re unpredictable but that’s what I love about you 
I never know what you’re gonna say 
But I love that about you 

Let’s stand together and throw rocks into volcanos 
I’m already playing with fire so it might as well be real
I’m already poking the bear so this might as well be safer 

Hold my hand and we’ll throw our chances into volcanos 
I’m already tempting fate so it might as well be known 
I’ll let sleeping dogs lie
When the lie becomes a sleeping dog 

She said 
"Don't lose focus,
Don't fool yourself  
You've pieced everything together so far, coherently 
Don't lose yourself in the storm of misguided missiles 
If you don't want to be the target,
Then stop making yourself the enemy" 
I can’t unhear it but I don’t know what to make of it 
But you’re so unpredictable and that’s something I love about you 
Could I ever even make this up to you?
A burning match across my skin,
I owe it to you
A burning map etched in my skin,
A subtle, not so subtle clue 
You’re unpredictable but that’s what I love about you

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Matthew Bailey October 31, 2023 at 1:54 PM This one is special to me because of all the true emotion behind it. This was written at a pretty dreadful time in my life. Even when it implies someone else is telling me the lines of the poem, this is solely me talking to myself. I used it as a reminder of what I needed to hear at the time.