This Wasn'T the First Time
You gave me peace once in a while…
All your silly sayings got out of style…
Getting a little more weary, living in a nightmare
After being awfully teary as it may appear, my dear
It’s due to the fact that you live life without a thought of me
Maybe I’m just assuming like I always do…I fret, you see?
I feel the urge to take a break from this tension between us
I don’t mean to fuss and yeah, I know you don’t mean to cuss
You were a lovely ode and I was your astonishing abode
I guess I’ll be on my way to the bumpy road, carrying this heavy load
My fearless spirit against your cowardly soul doesn’t work out at all…
Sooner or later, you’ll learn how to stand tall after another great fall…
You know I don’t want to put the blame on you
I don’t want to put you in the backburner
Happy to know you don’t want me to be so blue
We all want to be taken seriously I’m sure
Your tenacious ways hit me very carelessly…
Our love went astray so fast it seems…yet, I still see your smile shine like the sunbeams
Envy has broken your bones unfortunately…
I’m alive and I’ve survived, despite all I’ve been through in reality and in my wild dreams
As my emotions go to and fro in the wind of doubt,
We end up arguing over pathetic situations and my words alike
Let me tell you this – I don’t mind you out and about
All we got to do is let go and let live like a biker with his bike
I’m telling you, darling, brief relief is after grief
I don’t need your apathy, just your sweet sympathy
You’re far more precious than an autumn leaf
Don’t be selfish in your suffering and anguish, baby
All beginnings have some sort of end
And all ends have their own beginnings
But, I don’t know where to flee...
For, freedom costs too much frankly
I’m starting to sense a change of heart in you
Why are you so tense against my skin?
Yet, I still don’t know all that you go through
Yeah, you are wondering how I’ve been
I am soaring in the horizons of hope and fear
While I see your sunset, zealously and jealously glistening
There are memories of us that I hold so dear
I understand that you’re not always the special one listening
I’m left with the debris of the peculiar past and you’re aghast
You damaged my heart with your unkind words and reckless actions
I have forgotten that pleasure and laughter doesn’t truly last
You and I can recover from the distress with uplifting interactions
That will allow us to share satisfactions with one another
Still bewildered because we are struggling to find a cure
I know that we will endure till the end and until then,
Let’s try to get along with each other and not act like we’re ten
Strange vibes I’m getting from you again…yet, I forgive
This wasn’t the first time you left me behind…unluckily on my own
I feel like I gave you too many chances…but, I’ll live
This wasn’t the first time you’ve been searching for a mere backbone
Come on and rehearse your vibrant, vivacious verse
I’m your lucky change in your fancy, resourceful purse
I know you’re not one for spending without a care…
But can you spend a little more time with me? Weren’t we a perfect pair?
I stay up night after night and I know it’s a bad habit
But, you are in my thoughts throughout my lonely life
I miss your shyness, your happiness, your pretty wit
I hope to God for a delightful life for you with no strife
Without a single doubt, I don’t wish upon you tragedy that stabs like a knife
I need His radiant route to simply tread on…all this stress weighs more than a ton
So just leave me be from dusk to dawn
I know God is merciful with utmost compassion and so is His perfect, faithful son
I am like a dirty, uneven and dry lawn
I am that winter grass that needs a trimming and a watering until the flaws are gone
Copyright © J.W. Earnings | Year Posted 2016
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