This Thing Called Woman

When in her best behavior: she smiles so sweetly and she loves so freely; she speaks so softly and she adores so dearly. But if you are not on your guard: she will smile sweetly still as she drives a knife deep into your heart; she will love you, yes she will, while bleeding dry your credit card until you hurt; she will speak ever so softly, divesting you of your money till you can't take it anymore; she will adore you dearly till she finds a new man, then drops you to settle some score. She is tough, yet crumbles so easily, she loves but hates with uncontrollable fury. She sends so many conflicting signals: like some sort of a weirdo, she says no when she means yes, and yes when she means no; she always demands equality yet expects preferential treatment based on her femininity; she expects a man to open the door but once inside the feminist begins to take over the floor; she can manage on her own, says woman, yet resents it when you don't give up your seat, you ain't a gentleman; she wants a man to hold her when crossing the pavement but try it in the office and the poor guy gets booked for harassment. What a woman really wants is equality...in her favor !!!