This Night I Cannot Sleep
What choice do I have? On this night I cannot sleep?
I lay alone in this cold bed,
Thinking heavily,
Crying silently.
I watch as the clock flashes 12:00
I should have been asleep two hours ago
Ah, sleep... laced with poisonous dreams, bliss and danger,
A constant chaos, beautiful and terrifying.
I slip into my jacket, I carefully step down the stairs
The carpet hurts against my bare feet.
So soft, so muffling, yet so cruelly rough...
It has no end as I pace at the bottom of the stairs.
I watch as the clock flashes 1:00
I could have been asleep an hour ago.
Ah, sleep... that elusive devil of which I am so deprived of
A constant fantasy, an untouchable shadow.
Should I stay? Should I go?
If I stay I will be left in this pit of hell,
Left to submit to its burning force,
Left to submit to its unstoppable torrent.
If I go I will have hell to pay,
In the blood of my cuts,
In the tears of my pain,
In the sweat upon my brow.
I watch as the clock flashes 1:30
I would have been asleep so long ago.
Ah, sleep... only if I could linger in your scent,
A constant scar, only for one who is loved.
My decision has not been made.
I ponder and pace and know not who I am.
My feet are raw from pacing
Across this rough carpet floor.
This rough carpet floor soaked in whose tears but mine?
What choice do I have? On this night I cannot sleep?
I pace alone on this cold floor,
Breathing heavily,
Eating my heart out silently.
...For I had believed I could bask in your presence forever...
Yet here I am.
Alone.
Copyright © Brynne Cua | Year Posted 2009
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