This Night I Cannot Sleep

What choice do I have? On this night I cannot sleep? I lay alone in this cold bed, Thinking heavily, Crying silently. I watch as the clock flashes 12:00 I should have been asleep two hours ago Ah, sleep... laced with poisonous dreams, bliss and danger, A constant chaos, beautiful and terrifying. I slip into my jacket, I carefully step down the stairs The carpet hurts against my bare feet. So soft, so muffling, yet so cruelly rough... It has no end as I pace at the bottom of the stairs. I watch as the clock flashes 1:00 I could have been asleep an hour ago. Ah, sleep... that elusive devil of which I am so deprived of A constant fantasy, an untouchable shadow. Should I stay? Should I go? If I stay I will be left in this pit of hell, Left to submit to its burning force, Left to submit to its unstoppable torrent. If I go I will have hell to pay, In the blood of my cuts, In the tears of my pain, In the sweat upon my brow. I watch as the clock flashes 1:30 I would have been asleep so long ago. Ah, sleep... only if I could linger in your scent, A constant scar, only for one who is loved. My decision has not been made. I ponder and pace and know not who I am. My feet are raw from pacing Across this rough carpet floor. This rough carpet floor soaked in whose tears but mine? What choice do I have? On this night I cannot sleep? I pace alone on this cold floor, Breathing heavily, Eating my heart out silently. ...For I had believed I could bask in your presence forever... Yet here I am. Alone.