This Lonely Life

Here alone in this ivory tower, I remember my mother and her power, I always thought she held me down, Sometimes I feared that I’d drown, I always felt I needed to run away, My love for her made me stay. Now I am free from the pain that her love brought, Never feeling I measured up to what she sought, Both my sister and me finally broke free, Scared of the monster that she could be. Now alone here though I miss her shout, In the darkness it’s having her respect I think about, I know I am still a part of her family, But wonder will she ever accept the real me, Somehow I fear this will never be so. Will I have her love maybe I’ll never know. I know my family has always been one at war. Ever since her father walked out of the door, Maybe my mother wasn’t ready for a child, Her own life had always been a bit crazy and wild, She and the others were left to fend for themselves, It seems it runs in the family never caring about anyone else. I wrote this at age 18 life is so much better now