This Isn'T a Library

(This is a fictional poem) You're really pissing me off because you think this is a library instead of a store. If you're not going to buy my magazines, I don't want you looking at them anymore. Unless you're going to buy the magazine, I want you to put it back. If you give me the finger one more time, I'll give you a hard smack. Yesterday a guy took a Playboy in the bathroom because he thought I wouldn't mind. He was in there for a good thirty minutes and when he came out, he had gone blind. Now you're reading a fishing magazine that tells you how to catch bass. You'd better put it back on the shelf right now or I'll kick your scrawny ___. This isn't a library and that's something you'd better learn. I've kicked a lot of people's _____ and now it's your turn.