This Is What I Remember
This is what I remember
something sits on my brain
a heavy pile of memories maybe
(lingering still)
freshly brewed strong coffee
mingling with last night's bouillon
the clangs of covers permeating the stillness
wools of sleep tangle the brows in obscure shadows
nothing seems to belong to the past anymore
like the yellow grin of tobacco and warm old arms, reaching
could it be that the youth in you disappeared into me when we embraced?
you know what i mean; laughter flying from your neck
patting my head as I lay, a grown woman on your lap
telling you of things I'd love but cannot seem to bring myself to have
and you smiled, that funny smile, closing your eyes
how drunk I felt laughing with you!
condensing my uncertainties to some foreign 'be well' feeling
and this is what I remember...
dimming lights and pleading eyes
your fingers to my lips gripping into my chest
ah, how I felt deserted then and now,
drowning into losing you
and then you surrendered
just laid there and broke free
while it rained over my heart and all that was, sank
toppled over but never laid to rest
this is what I will not forget
as memories and loneliness swarm the nights of my days
and I yearn for the warmth of you
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