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Poem

This is what I  remember


something sits on my brain
a heavy pile of memories maybe
(lingering still)
freshly brewed strong coffee
mingling with last night's bouillon
the clangs of covers permeating the stillness
wools of sleep tangle the brows in obscure shadows

nothing seems to belong to the past anymore
like the yellow grin of tobacco and warm old arms, reaching
could it be that the youth in you disappeared into me when we embraced?
you know what i mean; laughter flying from your neck

patting my head as I lay, a grown woman on your lap
telling you of things I'd love but cannot seem to bring myself to have
and you smiled, that funny smile, closing your eyes
how drunk I felt laughing with you!
condensing my uncertainties to some foreign 'be well' feeling

and this is what I remember...
dimming lights and pleading eyes
your fingers to my lips gripping into my chest
ah, how I felt deserted then and now,
drowning into losing you

and then you surrendered 
just laid there and broke free
while it rained over my heart and all that was, sank
toppled over but never laid to rest

this is what I will not forget
as memories and loneliness swarm the nights of my days
and I yearn for the warmth of you

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