Home » Poems » Ambuja Parameshwary » This Is My History

This Is My History

People often ask me to share my life
why shall I tell them that their words pierce me like a knife 
shall I tell them about my lost love
who appeared to me as white dove
as pure and as simple who gave me peace
I loved the way he kissed me and cared for me
as though he was my inbuilt pressure release key
I liked being with him and to hear he loves me
then when he turned his back
I just wanted to say come back Jack
he left me alone all alone crying
I was hungry for his love and waiting
I spent my days on my table writing
letters for him with all my passion
as though a child waiting for compassion
I loved him still and waited till
the day of his marriage the day of all age
there were flowers on the floor
and also decorated on the door
I wanted him to say I still love you be mine
but all I got was a big smile 
on his face when he saw his bride
walking down with pride
a little girl showering flowers
there was this ester that covers
all the wedding hall with flowers
I was crying and so loud
but no one was able to listen my sound
as there was a light music 
and a light sense of beauty of the day that sick
I wanted to see him for once
my blood shot eyes which were in that premise
I wanted him to remember those muffins
that we baked which had those truffle
I wished he would remember those promises
of being together and those kisses
I loved him so dearly that 
I would go to the hands of death
I loved him so much that I would kill for him
I would die to kill that girl who gave me that grim
I was so jealous so burned in anger
so much filled with revenge hunger
that I would have killed the whole people there
appreciating admiring and clapping hands of their
I knew I was helpless
I knew I was selfless 
to let them go
people were going row by row
to congratulate them
to bless them I wish there would have been a phantom
to lift the girl and fly her away
and so I can marry him the other way
I wanted him to realise that he loves me
and she was our enemy
her rosy cheeks are nothing compared to me
all I had was a big loss in front of me
lying was my whole life
I could have been his wife
and have been bearing his children
now at this point of life
all I have is a ring of iron
around my heart coiled tight 
I wanted him so much that I could not be 
with someone else and enjoy like honeybee
and fly away with someone else
but him its him that I want
I loved him more than my life
I wanted to kill his wife
still I am mad at them both
how can he break that becoming one oath

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