This Is My Anxiety

Falling asleep to illogical thoughts. Seeing red or nothing but spots. Heart racing toward the finish line. Can't seem to catch that breath of mine. A whooshing roar inside my head. Sometimes wishing I was dead. Treating symptoms not disease. Praying hard while on my knees. Listening to the same song a thousand times. Putting my feelings down in rhymes. Feeling lost and out of place. Floating untethered through outerspace. Crack a smile and blink back tears. Trying to cope with irrational fears. Not being able to trust my thoughts. My stomach twisted up in knots. Always in survival mode. On the brink of overload. Impending doom in every room... Ambivalent stare trying to care... Then I stop indulging and reel it in. Calmly try to slow my spin. Can't afford to lose my cool, and be like every other fool. So I shake it off and bite my lip. Then tell myself to get a grip.