This conundrum
Struggling everyday
swearin' Ima change my ways
shaking my head
at the promises made
Almost believing the BS I say
So tired of this game we play
Wondering if I'm already insane
Chasin that rush
From the drugs in my veins
Disappointed everytime
Kuz the shtts js not the same
It's a fckng shame
Legit waiting for the day
I can js fade away
Starting to feel like my souls
Ona nonstop train
Speeding right into the fiery flames
of my self created hell
& im the only one to blame
So who am I to complain?
Keep going back to that fck it level
Never believed I was anything special
An outcast ever since I can remember
Cant ever hide my exploding anger & temper
From all the past traumas
Kuz I'ma shtty pretender
But deep down inside all I ever wanted
was to feel love and acceptance
Didn't even realize I was js co dependant
Feeling more than pathetic
This shtt is so relentless
I swear ima prank show contestant
Waiting for the punch line
that never seems to come
Sick and tired of feeling so damn dumb
Wishing and hoping that I'll finally succumb
But instead I js keep trying to get and stay numb
It's a fcking conundrum
Ahhh ..ya know what??
I'm done
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