Olive Eloisa Guillermo - Fraser Poet Dodoitsu

Thirst

THIRST

As *time flips a second step,
a *tree dehydrated weeps
for resuscitation sting
tired but standing still 

Long ago its *branches dressed
with **emerald-feathered tips
And ***sweet scattered **scarlet hearts
luring hungry mouths.

but that was long time ago
when earth was packed with angels.
Now, the whole ground where it stands
A cracking sick land

Its leafless ***bare branches bend
Its trunk a ****weakening spine
Its roots exposed to sun's glare
tortured, waiting death.

NOTES:

*personification = “time flips a second step”; “tree weeps”; “branches dressed”
**synecdoche = “emerald feather tips”, scarlet hearts(referring to leaves and fruits)
***alliteration = “bare branches bend”, sweet scattered scarlet
****metaphor = the trunk linked to “a weakening spine"

(c)Olive Eloisa
8:20 am
October 02, 2014

♡Like0

Share Poem

---

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Rajat Kanti Chakrabarty November 13, 2014 at 12:31 AM Its roots exposed to sun's glare tortured, waiting death.==== Are we approaching barrenness? Heralding a raw future? I hope this thirst will be quenched.New life will sprout up.....Lovexxxxrajat Olive Eloisa Guillermo - Fraser March 6, 2015 at 4:37 AM Thanks Rajat.. this has been a late reply.. :) thank you so much for dropping by and commenting on this before.. here in the Philippines Summer is fast approaching and indeed it will be again hot!!!! I hope there'll be rain once in awhile..

Paul Callus October 5, 2014 at 11:04 AM Hi Olive_eloi!!!! Congratulations!! Ice-cream van on the way!:) // paul Olive Eloisa Guillermo - Fraser October 5, 2014 at 11:27 AM thanks you PAul.. :D

Regina Mcintosh October 4, 2014 at 9:22 PM Amazing. Wonderful writing. I would never have been able to do this one. Thank you and God bless you. Happy writing and Love and prayers, Gina Olive Eloisa Guillermo - Fraser October 5, 2014 at 11:25 AM thanks Regina .. I appreciate your visit.. :D

Hsk Alkendi October 4, 2014 at 5:38 PM Well written, it was very descriptive and well laid out, I loved it. I felt that this poem was as if a dance to an old song. great job and congrats on winning the contest... HSK AlKendi Olive Eloisa Guillermo - Fraser October 5, 2014 at 11:23 AM thanks much:) I appreciate your visit... :D!

Jan Allison October 4, 2014 at 11:54 AM Beautifully crafted Olive:-) Many congrats on your win. Hugs jan xxx

Dr. Upma A. Sharma October 4, 2014 at 10:29 AM Great write Olive! Congrats on ur top place win! Olive Eloisa Guillermo - Fraser October 5, 2014 at 11:22 AM thanks much Dr. Upma. :D

Carrie Richards October 4, 2014 at 9:52 AM I can see how you enjoyed this challenge, as I did! (such fun to do!)......and of course you are so talented, Olive! What a wonderful description of this old tree! Congrats to you! Olive Eloisa Guillermo - Fraser October 5, 2014 at 11:21 AM thanks much Carrie.. :D I appreciate your drop.. :)

Dr.Ram Mehta October 4, 2014 at 9:38 AM Congrats on a high level win, Olive Olive Eloisa Guillermo - Fraser October 5, 2014 at 11:20 AM thanks much Dr, Ram. :) GBu

Brenda Meier-Hans October 4, 2014 at 8:58 AM Congratulations on your beautiful winning poem Olive. Olive Eloisa Guillermo - Fraser October 5, 2014 at 11:18 AM thanks much James.. :)Appreciate your drop.. :) God bless.. :D

James Fraser October 4, 2014 at 8:08 AM Nature is so amazing as some trees crave water for survival whilst others can rely on so little. Another delightful poem Olive, James :) Olive Eloisa Guillermo - Fraser October 5, 2014 at 11:19 AM indeed, each of us have particular needs and wants for us to grow.. :D thanks GBU

Liam Mcdaid October 3, 2014 at 10:02 AM very beautifully crafted olive excellent piece of writing Olive Eloisa Guillermo - Fraser October 4, 2014 at 10:39 AM thanks much Liam :) appreciate it.. :)

Paul Callus October 2, 2014 at 11:04 AM Despite the lack of water and approaching death by thirst, the tree still has a slight chance of survival....through the grace of blessed rain that could easily give fresh life; not all is lost! // paul Olive Eloisa Guillermo - Fraser October 4, 2014 at 10:36 AM Paul thanks much.. :) ice creams!!! :D i like one with almonds!

Dr. Upma A. Sharma October 2, 2014 at 10:54 AM Amazing write Olive! Hats off to ur pen dear! Loved much ! Olive Eloisa Guillermo - Fraser October 4, 2014 at 10:35 AM thanks much Dr. Upma.. :) I appreciate it.. :)