Think I Need a Soldier

I think I need a soldier To guard me from attack Think I need a soldier With a tight six-pack Of ciders, ideally apple So I may chill and drink As I’d really like a little time To pause and not to think For I’m always thinking something And this has sent me barmy A soldier would be handy Better still an army Think I need an army To defend all me A sergeant, major, corporal To entertain with glee And when I give the orders Food carried by my horses I’ll be happy not so snappy Fed by special forces Yes I think I need an army A corps to call my own Think I need an army And a pure golden throne To instruct my army from In a sparkly diamond gown Shoes to make the world wide news My beautiful gemstone crown Yes I think I need a castle My fort will be immense With my handsome soldiers Always on defence All will be flabbergasted By my hottest troops Perfectly trained and unashamed Of their cowboy boots.