Sanika Abedin | + Follow Poet |
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things i need to learn - a humble list

Dear God,

It is a common belief that learning, true learning does not take place

Without mistakes made along the way

I’ve made my fair share, 

And there’s a lot of realisations I’ve come to today

I need to learn,

How to keep my calm and breathe 

I need to learn,

To “get a grip of myself” even when it feels as though the walls are caving in

I need to learn,

To know when to stop before I push things too far

I need  to learn,

To not let temporary emotions cultivate into permanent scars

I need to learn,

That if i can forgive others so easily, I should myself 

I need to learn, 

That it is I, I have to live with, and not them 

I need to learn, 

When only I can help myself, and when to ask for help

I need to learn, 

To not just be there for others, but also for myself

I need to learn 

To tend to my breaking heart without hurting my body

I need to learn, 

How to train my heart to not give itself away so easily 

I need to learn, 

To acknowledge my flaws and work on them at every turn 

I need to learn,

That inspite of them, it doesn’t help to beat myself up 

I need to learn, 

When to hold on, but more importantly when to let go 

I need to learn

To make peace with the fact that things with happen at their natural flow

I need to learn, 

That I am not a catalyst so its not upto me to speed things up

I need to learn,

That my meddling can cause good things to faster be done 

I need to learn, 

To care, but to care with caution

I need to learn, 

That while I should think things through, overthinking is not the solution

I need to learn, 

To sometimes just to hit pause, take a beat and listen

I need to learn,

To stop refuting things just because they don’t align with what I believe in

I need to learn, 

Where the line draws itself between trying and trying too hard

I need to learn, 

To think twice of the words I choose to roll out my tongue

I need to learn, 

That even if my heart was in the right place my words do have effect

I need to learn,

To not do things that will make me regret, in retrospect 

There is but so much I have yet to learn,

To have patience for the things I yearn. 

But most importantly I need to learn 

That the word love should not only be used on others but also myself

I need to learn, 

That my love for others will not keep me

going bc in the end I have only myself

I need to learn, 

that to make it out of this harsh cruel world there is but one I need to love without regrets

I need to learn,

How to love, how to fall in love with myself.

Copyright © Sanika Abedin | Year Posted 2024

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