things i need to learn - a humble list

Dear God, It is a common belief that learning, true learning does not take place Without mistakes made along the way I’ve made my fair share, And there’s a lot of realisations I’ve come to today I need to learn, How to keep my calm and breathe I need to learn, To “get a grip of myself” even when it feels as though the walls are caving in I need to learn, To know when to stop before I push things too far I need to learn, To not let temporary emotions cultivate into permanent scars I need to learn, That if i can forgive others so easily, I should myself I need to learn, That it is I, I have to live with, and not them I need to learn, When only I can help myself, and when to ask for help I need to learn, To not just be there for others, but also for myself I need to learn To tend to my breaking heart without hurting my body I need to learn, How to train my heart to not give itself away so easily I need to learn, To acknowledge my flaws and work on them at every turn I need to learn, That inspite of them, it doesn’t help to beat myself up I need to learn, When to hold on, but more importantly when to let go I need to learn To make peace with the fact that things with happen at their natural flow I need to learn, That I am not a catalyst so its not upto me to speed things up I need to learn, That my meddling can cause good things to faster be done I need to learn, To care, but to care with caution I need to learn, That while I should think things through, overthinking is not the solution I need to learn, To sometimes just to hit pause, take a beat and listen I need to learn, To stop refuting things just because they don’t align with what I believe in I need to learn, Where the line draws itself between trying and trying too hard I need to learn, To think twice of the words I choose to roll out my tongue I need to learn, That even if my heart was in the right place my words do have effect I need to learn, To not do things that will make me regret, in retrospect There is but so much I have yet to learn, To have patience for the things I yearn. But most importantly I need to learn That the word love should not only be used on others but also myself I need to learn, That my love for others will not keep me going bc in the end I have only myself I need to learn, that to make it out of this harsh cruel world there is but one I need to love without regrets I need to learn, How to love, how to fall in love with myself.