They Gathered Outside My House

Unlike the model T Ford They come in both black and brown And also unlike model T It’s brown that is getting me down But what I refer to is no early car And it isn’t a cute little mouse It’s whopping great rats and they frightened my cats As they gathered outside my house I’ve baited the snap traps with chocolate and cheese And, boy, are those rats hard to please I’ve even tried peanuts and freshly popped peas And tuna was barely a tease They’re climbing my bird table like they’re on speed And wolfing down copious volumes of seed They extricate bait out of all of the traps I’ll catch one tomorrow… perhaps… perhaps Those hideous creatures are still in my yard Should catching some rats ever be quite this hard I’m halfway doolally from rodent war-games And totally bonkers… for giving them names.