They Don'T Know Me

I lived out loud, so they must have seen, But they don’t know me, no one does. The few I let in, must not have been The ones I really needed, I discarded them as lessons learned – to burn lest I get burned. My too-long life’s sad error was Thinking that age would narrow the scope, When looking back through dwindled hope, I ken the opposite was truth. Through backwards time I haven’t changed But relationships quite early on Seem somehow more significant, Like my earliest encounters went. How well he knew my own true self The 2nd grade bully who tried for tears But got instead a verbal slam. ‘Cuz bully power runs on fears And injustice made me mad not scared, It sucked the air from his balloon And left me stronger in my room. The fifth-grade kid who rode the bus In Special Ed. for poverty. A family of 10 in a two room shack Just two stops from our farm He always sat alone – even when by journey’s end Some bench seats had three kids in them The teasing, taunting pre-teen kids Would often say ‘He smells.” (he did) His clothes were rarely clean His body often lacked hygiene. I’ll never know what made me ask to sit That first time while those kids looked on, But he said “Sure.” And moved his books. And we were friends a full school year Until I moved, but once while in the recess yard Another bully taunted me – for playing with the ‘retard’ Notwithstanding his ignorance, The gross misdiagnosis (and lacking sensitivity) I won again the verbal spar, and his bruised ego demanded physicality, So to the ground he pushed me. Two hands, my butt and feet upon the ground I sat in puzzled wonderment as my new friend took two steps up And pushed the bully to the ground eliciting calls for teacher’s help The duty teacher saw this last act And grabbed my friend each hand to arm Roughly shaking, while proclaiming, Misbehavior yields punishment… and off to the principal’s office he went. But I jumped up before he left, Confronted the teacher with her unjust act, And instead of justice I too went. My life is filled with things like this. Mostly short encounters and randomness, But those are the ones who knew me best.