They All Know Me As Captain Picard

It was not my intention to lose all my hair, But then who ever said that life always is fair? If there be silver linings in clouds, here is mine: He's an actor named Stewart whose ship goes Warp Nine. When Sir Patrick joined Star Fleet aboard Enterprise I was still using combs and light brown-colored dyes. But as Seasons rolled by my slow change was complete; My resemblance, quite truly, drew stares on the street. So I sez to myself, and I sez it quite plain, Might there be some good way to turn loss into gain? Or to phrase it to sound just a little more bold, With a wee bit of luck, could I turn lead to gold? Leprechauns live in Ireland, but not in L.A., Which is where faerie magic won't help me make hay. I'll be plying my trade doing riffs on Picard Near the Hard Rock Café, Holly-wood Boulevard. So the next time you're there on the Stars' Walk Of Fame, I'll be there as Jean-Luc and dressed up just the same. From red shirt to black pants and on down to black boots I'll be there just the same for the cheers and the hoots. For a greenback I'll grant you a quick photo shoot, But my time is expensive; I'm in this for loot. I could never have dreamed I would turn out this way; That's just how these things go, and I've no more to say.