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There's No Joy In Joyriding

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I brush snow from the granite headstone to reveal your name, forever etched in words of burnished gold Your death hit me as hard as the joy rider who used a stolen car like a battering ram mowing you down on your way to school My heart is broken I can’t come to terms with losing my only son I’m in deep mourning… will my sorrow ever end I guess only time will tell Tanka 5,7,5,7,7 FICTION POEM For Let's Mix It Up Poetry Contest Sponsored by Constance La France 10/19/21

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Constance La France

Date: 11/4/2021 2:34:00 PM

Jan, impressive write and congratulations on your win in my Let's Mix It Up Contest, I like the image ~ love and serenity _Constance

Paula Goldsmith

Date: 11/2/2021 8:37:00 AM

WOW!!! Congratulations on your sad/touching~~story/win. It is something one never gets over. The hurt/pain is forever. Have a blessed autumn day with your win...............

Beata Agustin

Date: 11/1/2021 8:27:00 PM

Congrats! Thanks for sharing this muse filled with wisdom on facing a grim reality with hope, and faith in the Lord. God bless you.

Susan Ashley

Date: 10/31/2021 4:01:00 PM

Dear Jan, your potent and poignant imagery portrays a mother’s heart tortured by grief. Vivid and intense pain spills from your gifted pen. Congratulations for your excellent win in Constance’s contest. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Sam Kauffman

Date: 10/29/2021 10:12:00 AM

Heartbreaking and soul rending Jan! Your words have left an indelible mark on my spirit. This is so well done and shows the breadth of your writing. Congratulations says she with tears in her eyes.

Lindsay Laurie

Date: 10/23/2021 9:03:00 PM

Hello Jan ... even though you state fiction, to too many it's a cold hard fact; but they recover I don't know - thanks again Jan - Lindsay

Linda Alice Fowler

Date: 10/21/2021 10:04:00 AM

Impressive and powerful Jan. Not your usual carefree style ;)

Mark Koplin

Date: 10/20/2021 7:39:00 AM

That was mighty powerful, nice work Jan!

Jan Allison
Date: 10/20/2021 8:34:00 AM

I can dig deep and serious some times but as you know i prefer humour any day:-) hugs jan xx

Mike Gentile

Date: 10/20/2021 3:29:00 AM

I'm so glad it's fiction for you Jan and your heart wrenching write is so real for others. Senseless death is even more difficult to comprehend! Great writing!!

Jan Allison
Date: 10/20/2021 8:33:00 AM

Thanks Mike, joy riding is a ridiculous name as is 'ecstasy ' which killed my son's two friends (brothers) :-) hugs Jan xx

Victor Buhagiar

Date: 10/20/2021 2:18:00 AM

Glad it's fiction, know you were a bit under the weather. Great write. Hugs

Jan Allison
Date: 10/20/2021 8:32:00 AM

thanks Victor its been a tough time for sure, mum is fine now and i am almost there:-) hugs Jan xx

Arthur Vaso

Date: 10/19/2021 10:57:00 PM

Ok the previous was a serious comment, now for the humor one! Joy Riding is fine as long as it never leaves the bedroom!!!

Jan Allison
Date: 10/20/2021 8:31:00 AM

ha ha ha love it

Arthur Vaso

Date: 10/19/2021 8:22:00 PM

Very heartfelt!

Jan Allison
Date: 10/20/2021 8:31:00 AM

Thanks Art , a serious poem for a change but it's not bad for a poop poet is it lol-) hugs Jan xx

Susan Lawrence

Date: 10/19/2021 6:25:00 PM

Jan, So intense and pulsating with pain. I know this is a fiction, but you described the loss so vividly and profoundly. Best of luck in the contest. Big hugs, Susan :)

Jan Allison
Date: 10/20/2021 8:30:00 AM

Thanks Susan:-) hugs Jan xx