There's Always a But

I want recovery, but I also want to get worse. I want to have bravery, but I don't have it of course. I want to get better, but I also want to be destroyed. I want to do this together, but I guess I like being toyed. I guess I don't really know what I want, I never really do. I am being haunted, I never really knew. I like this, but I like that. It feels like bliss, but it also feels like a combat.